A binary branching fractal

Every step is both binary and triune at the same time. I imagine a God who also keeps track of all of our possibilities. The result would therefore be alternate realities... because a God imagined alternate journey would be as real...as long as it exists in the mind of God. (Sidebar: Does existance depend on an effort from God, and if so...could God "close God's eyes" and make us all dissapear and then "open" them to bring us back into existance at the same instant/circumstance that we dissapeared?)

The theory I am kicking around is that someone who dies, turns right...when the rest of us turn left...in their world, they may still be walking with us...growing closer to God...living into new realities and forgetting the old...which would mean there would be an infinate number of parallel universes......
"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done... on earth as it is in heaven."

I know how Angela Lansbury must feel...

The past few days have been rough. I am tired of seeing dead people. Will all of y'all do me a favor and quit kicking the bucket! Really, I don't mind... I would enjoy it if more of you would miraculously recover...

...theology is a lot messier in the real world than it is in seminary...Calvin/reformed tradition is a discipline that may inform regular practice-- but is it viable for flesh and blood encounters? I tend to use "club" theology... I pick up the biggest chunk of grace I can find and beat the hell out of the situation with it. It isn't surgery-- it is primal bludgeoning. It gets the job done...although it may not really be all that pretty.

A Strange Loop

Studying for the PCUSA ords... contemplating the self-referential language of the Trinity. Introspective Theology and paradox... "this statement is false"... "I believe that the existance of the classical "path" can be pregnantly formulated as follows: The "path" comes into existance where we observe it."

Emergency Baptism

...there shouldn't be emergency baptisms...then again, there shouldn't be infants dying in their parents arms...sometimes you do the wrong thing for the right reasons...theology, in such circumstances, is like trying to fight a dragon with marshmallows...I remind you now of these words of comfort:




Hear the words of our Lord Jesus Christ: (Matt. 28:18-20)
All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.
And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

Hear also these words from Holy Scripture: (Eph. 4:4-6)
There is one body and one Spirit,
just as you were called
to the one hope of your calling,
one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
one God and Father of all,
who is above all and through all and in all.

Obeying the word of our Lord Jesus,
and confident of his promises,
we baptize those whom God has called.

In baptism God claims us,
and seals us to show that we belong to God.
God frees us from sin and death,
uniting us with Jesus Christ in his death and resurrection.
By water and the Holy Spirit,
we are made members of the church, the body of Christ,
and joined to Christ's ministry of love, peace, and justice.

Baptism is serious business...deadly serious. I thank God for this sacrament and the power it had to heal our spirits in the wee hours of Tuesday morning.

Mid unit lessons

1. Myself as a pastor: I am learning that my theology, denominational background, and family history have a profound effect on my experience and practice of being a pastor. That being said, I have found that I also have the ability to adapt to the different situations and theologies that are present in the clinical environment. This ability to adapt to the situation was something that I had not really considered prior to the CPE experience—but has become an enjoyable aspect of the job. Likewise, I have been surprised that I am comfortable entering into a number of situations that I had expected to be sources of anxiety.

I have found that prayer and worship have been the most powerful tools in my daily life of a CPE Chaplain. Self care has been an important aspect of the experience as well. I feel that areas I still need to work on include: time management, relating more to healthcare staff, active listening and appropriate response, engagement with individuals that do not have a strong faith tradition, and finding a healthy balance between ardor and order.

2. Myself as a person: I have learned that, as a person, I sometimes shirk away from confrontation. I often try to mediate conversations and come up with an appropriate solution to problems—sometimes when this is not my assigned role. I like to see some sort of progress being made in any situation—and I feel that I sometimes prohibit the expression of feelings and concerns that are legitimate emotional responses from others by trying to problem solve. I like organization and become frustrated when there is a serious lack thereof—but I have also learned that there is no way to “organize” a large portion of the CPE learning experience; some things must be learned by heart. I have also been reminded that I appreciate direction and critique that is short and to the point.

3. Peer observations (and at the same time these are introspective observations into my own ministry--hence the "DS" throughout):

DS has a strong pastoral presence and is comfortable expressing his faith in theological language. He is a thoughtful and caring CPE chaplain who is approachable and dedicated. He could probably benefit by verbalizing his thoughts and feelings more often, to the group.

DS brings valuable experience and knowledge to the CPE experience. He is a good listener and provides good feedback to the CPE students. DS has a good sense of what is important in the summer CPE experience and what is important to pastoral ministry in general. He could benefit by becoming more knowledgeable about the Seton Healthcare Network.

People seem to naturally open up to DS. He is a nurturing and trustworthy CPE chaplain who makes time for his patients. DS is a good listener who has a strong pastoral presence and who seems to have a affinity to some aspects of Liberation Theology. He could probably benefit by finding ways to be more comfortable using theological language in the pastoral setting.

DS is personable and caring towards his peers and towards his patients. Already this summer, he has been a peaceful presence to several families during times of crisis. His outgoing personality and well formed theology have served him well in both ordinary patient visits and those he has performed while on call. He contributes to the group’s dynamics by addressing thoughts and ideas straightforwardly. DS is a level headed CPE chaplain who is both pastoral and approachable. DS could probably benefit by exploring some of the insights he gained into his role as a pastor among hospital staff and CPE peers—especially reflecting on the differences he experienced wearing a collar as opposed to street clothes. For the benefit of the group, he could also articulate more of his theological understandings during those times when he feels the theology of his faith tradition may differ significantly from that of other members of the group.

DS is a thoughtful and considerate CPE chaplain who has made conscious improvements to his active listening skills during the first half of this summer unit. He is quick to notice and identify major issues related to group dynamics and interpersonal relationships. He is easily approachable and appears comfortable in most settings (whether he is or not). He gets along well with both his peers and supervisors. DS has taken time out of each day to pray for his patients. He could probably benefit by utilizing his denomination’s prayer books, etc. For the benefit of the group, he could practice verbalizing his thoughts on the group’s dynamics in a fashion that prompts a greater depth of discussion.

DS is a warm and contemplative CPE chaplain who conveys a peaceful presence. He has strong communication skills and the ability to tell a good story. DS is an excellent listener and a deep thinker. He could probably benefit by getting in touch with his feelings—and by not always being so cerebral.

DS is a very capable and disciplined CPE chaplain who has a strong sense of sacramental theology. He expresses his feelings and thoughts openly and sincerely. His theological training shows forth in his pastoral practice as well as in his daily devotion. DS seems to have the ability to provide spiritual guidance to individuals from diverse backgrounds. He approaches the CPE chaplain experience with passion and energy that is refreshing and motivating. He could probably benefit by identifying “thinking out loud” as such, and by continuing to contemplate the “hard questions” that impact his ministry.

A Great Feeling

...when a patient I have been visiting with for weeks is released from the hospital.
...when my daughter gets excited to see me when I arrive to pick her up from daycare.
...when the words come easy.
...when my wife looks at me and smiles.
...when everything falls into place...like Juan Diego's roses.

I am a white piece of paper

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