A BIRD IN THE HAND

Third Place Thoughts

2011-12-15T16:20:00.000-05:00

Keys are important. I received a new key today. The back door at the church was upgraded and that means that I get another key on my already packed keyring. Make that my "work-keyring". A couple of days ago, I also picked up a new key at home. There, it was just a matter of replacing a worn out doorknob--but it has yet to make it onto a key ring. Regardless of why I have these new additions, their presence has made me ponder what I carry around with me on a daily basis.

On one key-ring I have car keys for two cars, a bike-lock key that has gone unused for the past three years, electronic key fobs for Emme's preschool and for the neighborhood pool, a key to the "Preschool Board Suggestion Box", those little scannable fobs for everything from the athletic club to the library to the grocery store, a Texas EX life-member keyring, and a key for the lockable desk drawer that I keep unlocked. I do not have a house key on the ring. We have had some work going on at the house for the past couple of weeks, so my key has remained under the welcome mat while our handyman hangs out at our home.

On the other set, it is all work related keys... fourteen of them to be precise. They make their home on a labyrinth keyring that I bought for Leigh, about 10 years ago. She never used it, so I commandeered it. There are keys for outer church doors, inner church doors, sound systems, AC systems, etc. In any given week, I will only use about three of these... but It is always nice to know that the other are there if I need them. A few weeks ago, I left home without this keyring, for the Thanksgiving Eve service. I felt naked and dependent on others.

Usually, because these make up such a heavy load to carry around, one ring or the other will hang out in a desk drawer until needed. At the athletic club, I leave my keys on a board at the front desk. There is nothing worse than running on a treadmill to the sound of Jingle-Keys.

Perhaps what really got me thinking about keys was the AA group that meets at the church. They do not have keys, and have to be let into the building. We have the system worked out pretty well, but still I worry that they will be locked-out at some point because everyone has finished their work and gone home early. They have recently transitioned to our place, from another hosting church that trusted them with keys. We have not established that type of relationship yet, even though we leave and allow them to lock up--pulling the door closed behind them.

I remember the first time that I was given a key to the church. I was probably twelve. My mom had a part time cleaning job at the church we attended and I would often go help. I remember that there was one week that she was sick, and I volunteered to go do the vacuuming-- and there were comments on that Sunday about the dirty sanctuary. I had not done a quality job, and it showed. Even so, I got to keep the key. It shared a ring with my house key and the key to the Scout hut.

That was a simpler time. Home life was not ideal, but the house in which we lived was definitely a home. School and Scouts were my work. I could ride my bike to either of those locations and lock it up with a coiled cable and a combination lock. Church was my third place...maybe church, the video arcade, and the pizza place. And then there were the streets and the backyards of my neighborhood-- that is were we could usually be found, most likely with friends.

I miss those "Third Place s". Today at lunch, I was greeted by name at my favorite lunch spot, The Red Orchid. It has become one of my regular haunts. I go there so often that I feel like I should send a Christmas card to the staff that always takes such good care of me. The athletic club has become another one of my regular brick-and-mortar sites. I am there with regularity.

So, just as I was just thinking about healthy boundaries between work, home, and these other public spots when I ran across this blog by Ed Stetzer. Then there was this National Geographic article on cities. These have made me think of how we use public space (both effectively and ineffectively) . And then there is Twitter! It is certainly a cyber-space that has great potential in building community. I think it should be considered a "third place" that rivals even the Roman Forum. It is that place that I go with regularity. I am part of that community... even though I am not one who does a lot of talking. I do a lot of listening. I keep an eye open for more effective fulcrums. It is truly a new medium, largely because of its creative users.

All that being said, I believe that I haven't been using the right keys recently, to access the proverbial backyard. I am still riding around in the street. I need to do some internal organization... and reengage my creative connective. I'm not sure how to do it. It is an adaptive problem, not a technical one. So this is the beginning! (I hope it gets better.)

Me:
https://twitter.com/schaefers
https://twitter.com/presbyink
https://twitter.com/scotchpresbyter

In my short term memory:
https://twitter.com/#!/schaefers/apts
http://beingrkp.com/
http://timblodgett.tumblr.com/
http://christiancentury.org/blogs/archive/2011-12/perspectives-young-clergy-crisis#comment-15480
http://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/texts.php?id=55#gospel_reading

Praying the Psalms

2009-11-23T16:45:00.000-05:00

Psalm 25:1-10
25:1 To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.

25:2 O my God, in you I trust; do not let me be put to shame; do not let my enemies exult over me.

25:3 Do not let those who wait for you be put to shame; let them be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

25:4 Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths.

25:5 Lead me in your truth, and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long.

25:6 Be mindful of your mercy, O LORD, and of your steadfast love, for they have been from of old.

25:7 Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for your goodness' sake, O LORD!

25:8 Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.

25:9 He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.

25:10 All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his decrees.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

2008-06-04T23:24:00.002-04:00

8:30 service
Sunday School
11:00 service
hospital visit
Staff meeting
set up office
set up computer, printer, etc
Wedding run-through (for this Sat.)
Paperwork
called Board of Pensions
Moved furniture
Tried to sell former AP's desk on Craigslist (the staff and congregation actually hold bad feelings towards it)
Hospital visit
Paperwork
Run through directory, updating, back-stories
To hospital for ID badge (took hours)
Hospital visit
paperwork
Installation planning
Nursing Home visit
Set up tables for Wednesday night supper
Wednesday night supper
-home
Tomorrow... day off

Update

2008-06-04T22:49:00.001-04:00

I am a pastor in Charleston, SC!

Forgive me for not posting for a while... been busy.

There, and back again...

2008-02-17T22:48:00.002-05:00

Well... it's all official. Over the past month and a half I have accepted a position as Associate Pastor of Westminster Presbyterian Church in Charleston, South Carolina... met with the Charleston Atlantic Presbytery's committee on ministry, been voted on by the congregation, been examined and approved on the floor of presbytery, put a contract down on a house, and set an ordination date (Pentecost). I'm tired... and excited. This weekend's trip to Charleston was a little crazy... I left Stan's funeral and went straight to the airport. I arrived in Charleston at 11:00 pm and was in bed by 11:45. Then, up at 5:00... at the church by 6:00 for a two hour car ride to Hilton Head. I was supposed to be examined before lunch but things went long. Back in the car by 3:00... to Charleston by 5:30, dinner with my head of staff at 7:00, in bed by 10:00. Up at 4:00 (that is 3:00 Texas time) and at the airport by 5:00. Finally home by noon. Nap time.

You know... the quick (dance, dance, dance) & the dead

2008-02-03T23:01:00.000-05:00

It being transfiguration Sunday, I wonder if Stan's black guayabera is now a dazzling white.

The following is offered in memory of Stanley Robertson Hall:

The Eucharist as Sacrifice

The language of sacrifice has been used through the centuries in an attempt to express a truth at the heart of Eucharistic practice. Even today, language used in the rite brings forth images of offering, sacrifice, atonement, and giving—but surely, these words mean something markedly different to individuals in the twenty-first century than they would have to early Christians. Not only have there been changes in language, over the years, but there have also been tremendous changes in social order as well as liturgical practice. Even through ages of change, there remains a sense of sacrificial language at the core of this liturgical event. Sacrifice, however, is a term that can be misused as often as it is used correctly. In the Eucharistic rite, “sacrifice” means something different than what “sacrifice” means in pagan or Jewish ritual. The argument can be made that the Eucharist is not ”sacrifice” at all—but something so close that there has not been any better way of describing it. To understand how we view the Eucharist today, and what type of “sacrifice” is being made, we need to recall some of the ways it has been understood in the past. By identifying it as “Christian sacrifice”, we may come to terms with a range of ideas that span from the early faith to the present church, therefore engaging the metaphorical language on its own ground.

To speak of Christian sacrifice, we must first acknowledge the rich tradition of Jewish heritage found throughout Old Testament texts. The Hebrew Scriptures give in-depth instruction about sacrifice. Here, priestly instruction was collected as law. Sacrifice literally means the slaughter of an animal (an actual victim), the offering of incense or grain along with the blood and smoke that “giving” these offerings would entail. Leviticus outlines procedures for a number of ritual sacrifices—burnt offerings, offerings of well being, cereal offerings, sin offerings, guilt offerings. These “sacrifices” and sacrifices throughout the history of the world have been performed in times of celebration and thanksgiving as well as in times of hardship and ruin. In this type, the individual making the sacrifice brings a perfect and healthy animal to the priest from the herd or flock. The animal is killed, blood is sprinkled on and around the altar and then selected portions of the animal are burned. Smoke and odor go “up” to where God is. When an animal was sacrificed, the life of the animal—and more importantly, the life of the worshiper who brought the sacrifice—were ritually “given” to God. [1]

In these Jewish sacrificial ceremonies, the killing of the animal was not understood to affect the specific situation in some sort of cosmic parallel. The offering was ingrained into the daily life, so much that it was much more an acknowledgment of one’s place than it would have been a direct petition for change through divine intervention. Here, sacrifice “points to the fear of the holy” and at the same time “coexists with the desire to commune with it.”[2] In this type of sacrifice, there is a sense of the close relationship between what is impure and what is holy, between death and life, and between weakness and power.

Likewise, in the Hellenistic world, sacrifice played a major role in the social structures and in the politics of the day. Those who did not sacrifice to the gods were accused of atheism. To be a good citizen meant that one would participate in the sacrifices of the community—to take some responsibility in the organization of the social structure as well as to carry on the economics of the temple and the state. Engaging in a “sacrifice” meant offering in a ritualistic way, parts of one’s possessions. Hellenistic sacrifice looked like the Jewish practice in this regard. Clearly identifiable characteristics—material, agent and recipients for these sacrifices—were as easy to label as in other pagan rituals. There was killing, burning, offering and blood—only these were given to an assortment of gods, rather than to the One God of the Hebrews. Regardless of the differences, both Jewish and Hellenistic sacrifices appear to be very similar. Christian Sacrifice—the Eucharist, is a different story (although many of the elements appear to be somewhat familiar.)

The early Christian community was not exempt from the overarching social structures of its time. For one, the Christian communities inherited many of the deeper meanings that the Jewish communities had associated with sacrifice. There was a certain aspect of ritual, atonement, and purification that was involved in the Jewish practice that spills over into the Christian tradition. Sacrifice said something about who the worshiping people were as well as saying something about God. Sacrifice is something that can not be undone, once the blood is poured out, there is no putting it back in. In that regard, sacrifice was a serious business—not something to be taken lightly. This was understood to be a holy thing, not just a ritual or legality. Here the people were coming into contact with God. It was not something that could be reversed. Sacrifice was “both ritual action and theological metaphor.”[3] Sacrifice was a sign of confession that the community embraced with language—which literally urged both the inner ethical change as well as an offering of some mass.[4]

Furthermore, bloody sacrifices were a reality that no one in the ancient world would be unfamiliar with. These events became the ritual practices of communities, only for those who were Christian—something had changed. The metaphor of sacrifice was taken by the early church—and then cracked open on the cross. For early Christians, the syntax of “sacrifice” was still present in the community, only it looked vastly different than the killing ceremony. There was still the ritual of gathering—and of celebration, but there was no longer any need to offer up “things” to God. “Sacrifice” was taking on a new shape—the relationship between people and God had been drastically altered through the Christ event. The new practices reflected the change. All of the language about sacrifice or offering was retained, but in this new setting it was used to mean new things and to point to new priorities. Christians metaphorically fought the fire of old ideas with the new fire of Holy Spirit.

Today’s life is far removed from many of the practices and concerns of the early Christian communities. These early communities held drastically different views of sacrifice than we do today—at least in the fact that sacrifices were to them a common occurrence. When we speak of sacrifice today (at least in a secular way), we often think about “sacrificing” money or something we desire for a greater good. If we think this as Christians, we lose out on some of the implications sacrifice has on the life of faith. Christian sacrifice is something different than secular sacrifice—this is most distinguishable in the Eucharist.

Early Christian communities picked up where their Jewish forbearers had left off, and used this idea of sacrifice to explain the events of the cross. Metaphorically, we call the crucifixion a sacrifice but it is really an execution. “We use the strange word to say the new thing: God views this execution as if it were the archetypal sacrifice…it is in no way a literal sacrifice, yet it is used to depict our sacrifice of the Eucharist…it is an offering but not an offering; our sacrifice is praise, a sacrifice but not a sacrifice.”[5]

The language becomes important as this metaphor is played out. The sacrificial vocabulary is retained. In the effort to hold onto a way of expression, choices are made—in some ways this language is more effective than it is in others. “The attribution to the assembly of names drawn from sacrificial ritual sometimes occurs in central texts of the liturgy. Thus the table of the meal, which is widely and informally called an “altar,” can also be so designated in hymns and prayers of the rite itself. In some traditions, the house of the assembly is similarly termed “temple”; in others the participants in the assembly are designated as a “priesthood” and the presider in the assembly is a “priest” or a “high priest.”[6] Bear in mind that these words have now undergone a change—they resemble the old ways but there is a different focus for the assembly. “Christian worship is not a sacrifice”…”at least not in a literal sense of the word.” [7]

There is no victim, no animals are slain in the assembly, no holy violence occurs, there is no bloody knife or stone with horns. God is not given something to eat and is not rebuilt through the action of the assembly. “Christian worship is rather a communal gathering that enacts or remembers the baptismal bath, reads and interprets scriptures, and holds the meal of bread and wine.”[8] We use sacrificial language where there is no sacrifice! We look at giving as sacrifice but that is not what is being related in the Eucharist. “Our giving of worship and gifts is conjoined to the “sacrifice of Christ.”[9] We see Christ as the sacrifice offered to God—for whatever purposes it is that a sacrifice would be made: to guarantee the future, to bring satisfaction out of anger, to substitute one thing for another, or perhaps the establishment of a holy bond. [10]

What we have, more than a sacrifice, is the syntax of a sacrifice. Self giving acts are seen as a reflection and celebration of those gathered—of the all-sufficient gift of Christ. These acts are not seen as a contribution made in addition to the gift of Christ. Only when this “reflection” is made, can the language of sacrifice be used to speak of the gospel. It is through this language that many aspects of the Christian life are drawn together. Sacrifice has been viewed as an important way to talk about the connection between the death of Christ, Christian worship and Christian ethics.[11]

To speak of Christian sacrifice, there is a necessity to look at the language of metaphor and interpretation. To truly understand what is going on, one must be able to make the leap that the metaphor provokes. “Words, to risk a paradox, mean more than they mean. Translation is not only a matter of interpretation from one language to another. It involves, almost as much, a transfer of meaning, in the selfsame language, from speaker to hearer. To converse is to translate—to recreate meanings, moods and metaphors.”[12] Words do not possess absolute character-and it is here that we may begin to see that “sacrifice” may have many meanings. “Words acquire their virtues or their defects, from their context. Their character and their values are relative…words are the weapons, not the warriors. We are the warriors.”[13] All of this is to say that there can be appropriate use of the “sacrifice” metaphor—as well as inappropriate. Some have argued that the imagery of “Christ’s sacrifice” amounts to some sort of divine child abuse. This argument fails to use the metaphor for the purpose it was intended—Christian sacrifice must uphold that which is at the heart of the Christian message if it is to be used at all.

Christians use the long held tradition of Jewish thought that had spiritualized the meaning of the temple cult and made “sacrifice” available to describe the interior state of the one who praised God and kept the law.”[14] It may be better to say that “sacrifice” is the wrong word in these cases. “The wrongness of the words needs to be heightened, not tamed, in order for the figure of speech to work. We need to inquire what truth about God is proposed by calling our assembly action sacrifice when it is not.”[15] Sacrifice was once the central ritual act—bearing and sustaining a conception of the world, drawing the people and their gods into the heart of daily experience. In some ways we adopt pieces of those ideas in Christian Sacrifice—there is certainly some word drift to any two meanings or understandings that are so alike.

To attempt to define what sacrifice means requires a sense if its evolution. To go from the sacrificial structure of the Old Testament to the belief that an ultimate sacrifice has been made for all time meant that there would be a need for some explanation. In Justin Martyr’s writing we see just this sort of account: “That God has no need of blood-outpourings and drink-offerings and incense-burnings, and whom we praise, as much as we can, by the word of prayer and thanksgiving over all that we eat.”[16] Justin admits that Christians do not sacrifice in the former sense (grounds on which early Christians were accused of atheism) and rejects ritual killing. He talks of religious practice as being a new action—giving to the poor and needy that which had been formerly devoted to the gods. In an empire of sacrificial parades, Justin describes the procession of the gathered community in a metaphor—a new kind of parade that is not what at first it seems. He explains that “the traditions of the Christians is to offer food, not to the gods, but to the poor—and with thanksgiving, to themselves. This is our ritual sacrifice.”[17]

Metaphor is the key to the interpretation of Christian sacrificial language. It means rather that “praise and thanksgiving, or the Eucharistic memorial, are called in the interpretive way by the (alien) name of sacrifice or offering. The force of the metaphor, the revelation which it brings, is to convey that the praise and thanksgiving of Christians, rendered in memorial of Jesus Christ, far surpasses any offering of gift found in Pagan or Jewish practice.”[18]

The metaphor is meant to hold our attention to the association between the bread-word and the messianic table fellowship in the kingdom—which is realized in the life and death of Christ. “This is to say that the primary reference of the bread-word is eschatological or messianic and that Jesus here promises a share in the messianic blessings to those who eat of his body, or, in other words to those who receive the gift of himself which is communicated through the symbol of the bread… The appeal to sacrificial imagery occurs in the wine-word.”[19] Through the language that describes what is taking place with the cup—images of blood being poured out for the sins of many—those kernels of what is at stake within a sacrifice make the leap into Christian Sacrifice. “To set the two metaphors alongside one another, that of our praise and thanksgiving and that of God’s offering to us in Christ, is to evoke the reality of the Holy Spirit.”[20]

Perhaps today, one of our greatest obstacles is in the way we attempt to draw lines of recognition between concrete examples of sacrifice and what we call sacrifice in the Eucharist. Robert Daly suggests that we often go about the task completely backwards. We should not begin with the non-Christian example of what sacrifice is and then try to back it into our understanding—but rather we should begin with what the early Christians were pointing toward. In what way did they begin to use sacrificial terms to speak of the Christ event, the Christian life and the Eucharist? Daly states that answers to this question must necessarily begin with our central beliefs in a triune God and in the Eucharist.[21]

Daly describes three defining moments in the Christian Sacrifice. The first is that it begins with the self-offering of the Father in the gift of the Son (and not with any attempt on our part.) The second is that of the “totally loving response of the Son to his humanity.” And the third is that which takes place when “the rest of humanity, in the Spirit, begins to be taken up into that self-offering, self giving relationship of the Father and the Son.” He goes on to state that it is only in the third action that Christian sacrifice becomes real.[22]

Christian sacrifice is therefore not something that the faithful do; it is rather what happens to the faithful. What God was doing in Christ—was doing away with the “material, agent, recipient” way of looking at sacrifice. What is being done in the Christ event is as much an invitation into the metaphor as it is a description of what is being described. The words both veil the meaning and unveil it.

To understand the Eucharist, Daly suggests, we should look at it like a wedding ceremony.[23] He explains that the ceremony helps us to make a connection between the gathered event and the rest of our lives. Marriage does not stop at the conclusion of the wedding ceremony and likewise, “Eucharist that stops at the end of the celebration in church never becomes a real Eucharist.” What is taking place in the ceremony is the beginning place—and will only be completely realized in the fullness of time. The assembly receives what it already is—the body of Christ. It is about transformation—Christian sacrifice means that there is a change within us. We die to the “us” we might have been and accept the new body—the “us” of the Eucharist.

I began this project thinking that the questions I had about the language of sacrifice, as we encounter it in the Eucharist, would lead me to some fairly concrete examples of sacrificial language through the centuries. I expected to find a slower conversion of thought—not the jump from “Jewish” sacrifice to what has been described as Christian sacrifice. What I have found is that the “change” seems to have been much more complete in its early stages than I would have imagined. (I guess that I am guilty of falling into the trap of thinking modern society vastly superior to our early counterparts.) The use of metaphor to describe these things of the sacramental realm was, surprisingly, a constant aspect of the authors’ arguments. It quickly became clear that our modern thought processes may lack what the early Christian communities took for granted (that the metaphorical leap could be made.)

It seems that those communities that were closer to the “sacrifice of Christ” held a better understanding of Christian sacrifice than the majority of today’s populations. The metaphor still works, but it needs to be delivered cautiously and carefully in today’s world. There are many words that have developed connotations detrimental to the Christian message. “Sacrifice” is just such a difficult word—in that we modern types have a limited perspective on what it means. Woe be to the person who uses it haphazardly.

In the parish today, there is no reason not to use the language of sacrifice when describing the Eucharist—as long as the metaphor that was intended by the early church is retained. One must be aware of the pitfalls: that this is not a sacrifice in the pagan sense, and that the Eucharist is not just what happens in the midst of the assembly—but that it is carried on in the lives of those that gather. Special care must be given that the language is not saying something that goes against the Christian understanding or teachings (that it is not justifying the victimization of anyone, nor spreading fear.) With these things in mind, the Eucharist may be blessed by being described as a sacrifice—not on someone else’s terms, but on its own.

In this project I have tried to identify what Christian sacrifice “looks” like, as compared to other forms of sacrifice. I believe that the answer to this query lies in the context that event takes form. In the gathered assembly there is a sacrifice—and it looks like prayer, concern for one’s community, and the offering of one’s self (in whatever forms this may take) to others who do not appear to be included in any number of self defined groups. I have gathered a sense that those saints that went before us may have been infinitely more successful in realizing the metaphor. Perhaps we are too often caught up in being individuals brought together into a body to realize that we are a body first—and that we have our individuality which flows from that place. Likewise, some of my first questions addressed to this topic centered on the idea of sacrifice that connects us within the community—and now I realize that the question is flawed. A better question would be how to preserve the sense of Christian sacrifice in the face of secular definitions and ideals.

In conclusion, I have come to realize that this project is just a starting point. I have found that the language used to describe the Eucharist—something I feel fairly knowledgeable about, takes on a life of its own when it slips into images of Christian sacrifice. There is something in the language that is perhaps too deep to dig out (into words on a page, at least.) Sacrificial language seems to have a way of meaning something different—depending on the perspective the observer approaches it from. I am sure that our concepts of offering, sacrifice, atonement, and the like are in a perpetual state of flux. By engaging the Christian sacrifice—in the Eucharist, we are drawn further into the mystery. This is a growth industry; here we may spend a lifetime knowing the answer to the riddle, only failing to be able to verbalize the question. In affect, this should be considered a success (only the success is not ours.) Christian sacrifice looks like the church, the body of Christ—in this regard it should be at the heart of our being.

Works Consulted

Applebaum, David Ed. Parabola Vol. 25, Number 2 “Riddle and Mystery” Denville, New Jersey: Society for the Study of Myth and Tradition. 2000.

Bradshaw, Paul F. Ed. Essays on Early Eastern Eucharistic Prayers Collegeville, Minnesota: The Liturgical Press. 1997.

Brock, Rita; Claudia Camp; Serene Jones Eds. Setting the Table: Women in Theological Conversation St. Louis, Missouri: Chalice Press. 1995.

Crockett, William R. Eucharist: Symbol of Transformation. Collegeville, Minnesota: Liturgical Press. 1990.

Daly, Robert J. Christian Sacrifice Washington D.C.: The Catholic University of America Press 1978.

Daly, Robert J. The Origins of the Christian Doctrine of Sacrifice Philadelphia: Fortress Press. 1978.

Daly, Robert J. “Sacrifice: the Way to Enter the Pascal Mystery” in America: The National Catholic Weekly Vol. 188, No. 16. 2003.

Goldberg, Isaac. The Wonder of Words New York: Frederick Ungar Publishing Co. 1957.

Lathrop, Gordon W. Holy Things Minneapolis: Fortress Press. 1993.

Pittenger, W. Norman. The Christian Sacrifice New York: Oxford University Press. 1951.

Power, David N. The Sacrifice We Offer New York: Crossroad. 1987.

Power, David N. The Eucharistic Mystery Dublin: Gill and Macmillan Ltd. 1992.

Power, David. “Words That Crack: The Uses of ‘Sacrifice’ in Eucharistic Discourse.” in Seasoltz, R. Kevin. Ed. Living Bread, Saving Cup: Readings on the Eucharist Collegeville, Minnesota: The Liturgical Press. 1982.

Stevenson, Kenneth. Eucharist and Offering New York: Pueblo Publishing Company. 1986.

Ramshaw, Gail. Reviving Sacred Speech Akron, Ohio: OSL Publications. 2004.

Stookey, Laurence Hull. Eucharist: Christ’s Feast With the Church. Nashville: Abingdon Press. 1993.

Weaver, J. Denny. The Nonviolent Atonement Grand Rapids, Michigan: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company. 2001.

White, James F. Introduction to Christian Worship. Nashville: Abingdon Press. 2000.

[1] Weaver 58-59

[2] David Power (Living Bread, Saving Cup 172)

[3] Ramshaw 90

[4] Ramshaw 90-91

[5] Ramshaw 90-91

[6] Lathrop 139

[7] Lanthrop 140

[8] Lanthrop 140

[9] Lanthrop 140

[10] Lanthrop 140

[11] Lanthrop 141

[12] Goldberg 308

[13] Goldberg 317-318

[14] Lanthrop 141

[15] Lanthrop 143

[16] Justin (1 Apology 13)

[17] Lanthrop 147

[18] Power, David (Living Bread, Saving Cup 160)

[19] Power 161-162

[20] Power 174

[21] Daly, Robert J. “Sacrifice: the Way to Enter the Pascal Mystery

[22] Daly “Sacrifice: the Way to Enter the Pascal Mystery”

[23] Daly attributes the example to Edward Kilmartin

College News

2008-01-29T15:00:00.000-05:00

From The University of Texas...

Liberal Arts To Reopen Garrison Hall, Home to Nationally Noted History Program

Two-day event includes tours, lectures, exhibitions

AUSTIN, Texas -Jan. 29, 2008- The College of Liberal Arts at The University of Texas at Austin this week will mark the reopening of Garrison Hall, the recently renovated home of the university's nationally recognized history program. The "Come Back to Garrison" celebrations include the opening of the Institute of Historical Studies and two days of tours, lectures, films and exhibitions, Jan. 31-Feb. 1.

Garrison Hall, built in 1926, is named for George P. Garrison, who joined the university as a history and English instructor in 1884 and was later head of the History Department. Garrison died in 1910.

During his 2006 installation address, President William Powers Jr. identified the Department of History as a strategic priority for the university, committing $1.3 million in new, recurring funds that will support research, teaching and the new Institute for Historical Studies whose inaugural programs will focus on "Global Borders."

"In the great universities throughout civilization, the teaching of history has always been fundamental," Powers said. "Historians and history teachers not only preserve the past, they enrich the long narrative of events and human interaction, so that we better understand who we are now and what the future holds.

"Every UT student, no matter his or her major, should study history in order to enjoy the full range of the intellectual experience."

THURSDAY, JAN. 31

Randy Diehl, dean of the College of Liberal Arts, and Alan Tully, chair of the Department of History, will host a reception, which is free and open to the public, Thursday, Jan. 31, from 4 to 7 p.m. at the Main Building, Room 212.

During the reception, Diehl and Tully will provide an overview of the history program and the opening of the Institute for Historical Studies, which builds on the Department of History's impressive publication record and competitive research funding from national agencies and research institutions each year.

As part of its 2008 rankings of America's Best Graduate Schools, U.S. News and World Report ranked the university's Latin American history program No. 1 in the nation and the department No. 19.

The historians have built strong research enterprises in the areas of empires and globalization, diaspora and migration, the borderlands, cultures, gender, religion and transnational history.

In addition to the faculty members' impressive number of national book awards and fellowships, the department includes a Pulitzer Prize-winner and seven current and former Guggenheim Fellows.

For more information about the Institute for Historical Studies, please visit http://www.utexas.edu/cola/insts/historicalstudies/ .

FRIDAY, FEB. 1

As part of the "Come Back to Garrison" activities, the university's historians will present lectures, which are free and open to the public, Friday, Feb. 1 from 10 a.m. to noon at classrooms throughout Garrison Hall. The discussions include:

10 a.m.
• "Torture, Past and Present" with Brian Levack;
• "The Secret Lives of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt," with H.W. Brands;
• "Spices and Global History" with Toyin Falola;
• "The Evil Eye: What Muslims, Christians, and Jews All Feared and Why" with Denise Spellberg; and
• "Buying Freedom from Slavery: An African-American Family Saga, 1777-1857" with Juliet Walker.

11 a.m.
• "Bubble and Bust: Lessons from Japan" with Mark Metzler;
• "The Salvation Army Archive of American Music, or How to Listen Like a Historian" with Karl Miller;
• "The Global Cigarette: Tobacco and Politics during the Cold War" with Mary Neuburger;
• "Finding Politics in Unexpected Places: Women in the Civil Rights Movement" with Tiffany Gill and Laurie Green;
• "AIDS in Africa" with James Wilson; and
• "The Wizard of Oz: A Parable of Populism" with Michael Stoff.

Throughout the afternoon, historians will lead visitors through the university's library and museum resources, including:

1:30 p.m.
• "Rewriting the Vietnam War: New Evidence from the Johnson Library" with Mark Lawrence;
• "UT's Extraordinary Sixteenth-Century 'Aztec' Maps" with Jorge Cañizares-Esguerra;
• "Maquilapolis" (film and discussion) with John McKiernan-Gonzales; and
• "The Second World War in Global Perspective: The Normandy Scholar Program Looks at a Turning Point in World History" David Crew, Michael Stoff and Charters Wynn.

3:30 p.m.
• "Jesus at the Movies, The Silent Era" with Howard Miller;
• "Virgins, Saints, and Angels: the Art of Conquest and Conversion in Colonial South America" with Susan Deans-Smith;
• "Asian Americans on Stage: Forbidden City, USA" (film and discussion) with Madeline Hsu;
• "Cuban Roots-Bronx Stories" (film and discussion) with Frank Guridy; and
• "Arthur Miller, Norman Mailer, Woodward and Bernstein" with Pulitzer Prize winner David Oshinsky.

Download the complete list of events and activities...

New development...

2007-11-15T00:44:00.000-05:00

In an interesting turn of events... I have been given the green light to circulate my personal information form and actively seek a call to parish ministry. I am so relieved.

Final assessment... check!

2007-11-12T23:12:00.000-05:00

Thursday I went to Ft. Worth to meet with my presbytery committee for my final assessment. I passed but I won't be able to circulate my "Personal Information Form" until I am "certified" on December 13. Now I am going over "Church Information Forms" and waiting.

Last night... I got a little help

2007-11-06T23:16:00.000-05:00

In Memory of Austin, Bob, and Bill.

2007-11-01T14:06:00.001-04:00

The Day of the Dead (or the Día de los Muertos, in Spanish) is a holiday celebrated mainly in Mexico with variations observed in other Latin American countries and in other parts of the world. The Mexican celebration occurs on November 1 (All Saints' Day) and November 2 (All Souls' Day).

Though the subject matter may be considered morbid from the perspective of many western cultures, celebrants typically approach the Day of the Dead joyfully. Traditionally, the mood is bright and cheerful, with an emphasis on celebrating and honoring the lives of the deceased and celebrating the continuation of life. Death is not the end, but rather the beginning of a new stage in life.

Happy Reformation Day! Happy Halloween!

2007-10-31T23:46:00.000-04:00

I will have my final assessment next Thursday in Dallas. Today I told a church that I have had an "informal conversation" with, that I did not feel a call to their congregation. It was a little surreal... after all, I have not been given the go ahead to have "call" discussions. They took the whole thing very well and I feel much better, having gotten that off my chest. I just never felt the connection with them that has been present in other conversations.

So here is something that popped into my head last year on this day... Let's throw a Reformation Party! We have 10 years before we celebrate the 500th anniversary. Let's plan on a reunion (of sorts) to take place October 31, 2017... Wittenburg, Germany. Call it continuing education. Who is with me?

Here are the 95 Theses Martin Luther nailed on the church door at Wittenburg.

1. When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, "Repent" (Matthew 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.

2. This word cannot be understood as referring to the sacrament of penance, that is, confession and satisfaction, as administered by the clergy.

3. Yet it does not mean solely inner repentance; such inner repentance is worthless unless it produces various outward mortification of the flesh.

4. The penalty of sin remains as long as the hatred of self (that is, true inner repentance), namely till our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.

5. The pope neither desires nor is able to remit any penalties except those imposed by his own authority or that of the canons.

6. The pope cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring and showing that it has been remitted by God; or, to be sure, by remitting guilt in cases reserved to his judgment. If his right to grant remission in these cases were disregarded, the guilt would certainly remain unforgiven.

7. God remits guilt to no one unless at the same time he humbles him in all things and makes him submissive to the vicar, the priest.

8. The penitential canons are imposed only on the living, and, according to the canons themselves, nothing should be imposed on the dying.

9. Therefore the Holy Spirit through the pope is kind to us insofar as the pope in his decrees always makes exception of the article of death and of necessity.

10. Those priests act ignorantly and wickedly who, in the case of the dying, reserve canonical penalties for purgatory.

11. Those tares of changing the canonical penalty to the penalty of purgatory were evidently sown while the bishops slept (Matthew 13:25).

12. In former times canonical penalties were imposed, not after, but before absolution, as tests of true contrition.

13. The dying are freed by death from all penalties, are already dead as far as the canon laws are concerned, and have a right to be released from them.

14. Imperfect piety or love on the part of the dying person necessarily brings with it great fear; and the smaller the love, the greater the fear.

15. This fear or horror is sufficient in itself, to say nothing of other things, to constitute the penalty of purgatory, since it is very near to the horror of despair.

16. Hell, purgatory, and heaven seem to differ the same as despair, fear, and assurance of salvation.

17. It seems as though for the souls in purgatory fear should necessarily decrease and love increase.

18. Furthermore, it does not seem proved, either by reason or by Scripture, that souls in purgatory are outside the state of merit, that is, unable to grow in love.

19. Nor does it seem proved that souls in purgatory, at least not all of them, are certain and assured of their own salvation, even if we ourselves may be entirely certain of it.

20. Therefore the pope, when he uses the words "plenary remission of all penalties," does not actually mean "all penalties," but only those imposed by himself.

21. Thus those indulgence preachers are in error who say that a man is absolved from every penalty and saved by papal indulgences.

22. As a matter of fact, the pope remits to souls in purgatory no penalty which, according to canon law, they should have paid in this life.

23. If remission of all penalties whatsoever could be granted to anyone at all, certainly it would be granted only to the most perfect, that is, to very few.

24. For this reason most people are necessarily deceived by that indiscriminate and high-sounding promise of release from penalty.

25. That power which the pope has in general over purgatory corresponds to the power which any bishop or curate has in a particular way in his own diocese and parish.

26. The pope does very well when he grants remission to souls in purgatory, not by the power of the keys, which he does not have, but by way of intercession for them.

27. They preach only human doctrines who say that as soon as the money clinks into the money chest, the soul flies out of purgatory.

28. It is certain that when money clinks in the money chest, greed and avarice can be increased; but when the church intercedes, the result is in the hands of God alone.

29. Who knows whether all souls in purgatory wish to be redeemed, since we have exceptions in St. Severinus and St. Paschal, as related in a legend.

30. No one is sure of the integrity of his own contrition, much less of having received plenary remission.

31. The man who actually buys indulgences is as rare as he who is really penitent; indeed, he is exceedingly rare.

32. Those who believe that they can be certain of their salvation because they have indulgence letters will be eternally damned, together with their teachers.

33. Men must especially be on guard against those who say that the pope's pardons are that inestimable gift of God by which man is reconciled to him.

34. For the graces of indulgences are concerned only with the penalties of sacramental satisfaction established by man.

35. They who teach that contrition is not necessary on the part of those who intend to buy souls out of purgatory or to buy confessional privileges preach unchristian doctrine.

36. Any truly repentant Christian has a right to full remission of penalty and guilt, even without indulgence letters.

37. Any true Christian, whether living or dead, participates in all the blessings of Christ and the church; and this is granted him by God, even without indulgence letters.

38. Nevertheless, papal remission and blessing are by no means to be disregarded, for they are, as I have said (Thesis 6), the proclamation of the divine remission.

39. It is very difficult, even for the most learned theologians, at one and the same time to commend to the people the bounty of indulgences and the need of true contrition.

40. A Christian who is truly contrite seeks and loves to pay penalties for his sins; the bounty of indulgences, however, relaxes penalties and causes men to hate them -- at least it furnishes occasion for hating them.

41. Papal indulgences must be preached with caution, lest people erroneously think that they are preferable to other good works of love.

42. Christians are to be taught that the pope does not intend that the buying of indulgences should in any way be compared with works of mercy.

43. Christians are to be taught that he who gives to the poor or lends to the needy does a better deed than he who buys indulgences.

44. Because love grows by works of love, man thereby becomes better. Man does not, however, become better by means of indulgences but is merely freed from penalties.

45. Christians are to be taught that he who sees a needy man and passes him by, yet gives his money for indulgences, does not buy papal indulgences but God's wrath.

46. Christians are to be taught that, unless they have more than they need, they must reserve enough for their family needs and by no means squander it on indulgences.

47. Christians are to be taught that they buying of indulgences is a matter of free choice, not commanded.

48. Christians are to be taught that the pope, in granting indulgences, needs and thus desires their devout prayer more than their money.

49. Christians are to be taught that papal indulgences are useful only if they do not put their trust in them, but very harmful if they lose their fear of God because of them.

50. Christians are to be taught that if the pope knew the exactions of the indulgence preachers, he would rather that the basilica of St. Peter were burned to ashes than built up with the skin, flesh, and bones of his sheep.

51. Christians are to be taught that the pope would and should wish to give of his own money, even though he had to sell the basilica of St. Peter, to many of those from whom certain hawkers of indulgences cajole money.

52. It is vain to trust in salvation by indulgence letters, even though the indulgence commissary, or even the pope, were to offer his soul as security.

53. They are the enemies of Christ and the pope who forbid altogether the preaching of the Word of God in some churches in order that indulgences may be preached in others.

54. Injury is done to the Word of God when, in the same sermon, an equal or larger amount of time is devoted to indulgences than to the Word.

55. It is certainly the pope's sentiment that if indulgences, which are a very insignificant thing, are celebrated with one bell, one procession, and one ceremony, then the gospel, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.

56. The true treasures of the church, out of which the pope distributes indulgences, are not sufficiently discussed or known among the people of Christ.

57. That indulgences are not temporal treasures is certainly clear, for many indulgence sellers do not distribute them freely but only gather them.

58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the saints, for, even without the pope, the latter always work grace for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outer man.

59. St. Lawrence said that the poor of the church were the treasures of the church, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time.

60. Without want of consideration we say that the keys of the church, given by the merits of Christ, are that treasure.

61. For it is clear that the pope's power is of itself sufficient for the remission of penalties and cases reserved by himself.

62. The true treasure of the church is the most holy gospel of the glory and grace of God.

63. But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the first to be last (Matthew 20:16).

64. On the other hand, the treasure of indulgences is naturally most acceptable, for it makes the last to be first.

65. Therefore the treasures of the gospel are nets with which one formerly fished for men of wealth.

66. The treasures of indulgences are nets with which one now fishes for the wealth of men.

67. The indulgences which the demagogues acclaim as the greatest graces are actually understood to be such only insofar as they promote gain.

68. They are nevertheless in truth the most insignificant graces when compared with the grace of God and the piety of the cross.

69. Bishops and curates are bound to admit the commissaries of papal indulgences with all reverence.

70. But they are much more bound to strain their eyes and ears lest these men preach their own dreams instead of what the pope has commissioned.

71. Let him who speaks against the truth concerning papal indulgences be anathema and accursed.

72. But let him who guards against the lust and license of the indulgence preachers be blessed.

73. Just as the pope justly thunders against those who by any means whatever contrive harm to the sale of indulgences.

74. Much more does he intend to thunder against those who use indulgences as a pretext to contrive harm to holy love and truth.

75. To consider papal indulgences so great that they could absolve a man even if he had done the impossible and had violated the mother of God is madness.

76. We say on the contrary that papal indulgences cannot remove the very least of venial sins as far as guilt is concerned.

77. To say that even St. Peter if he were now pope, could not grant greater graces is blasphemy against St. Peter and the pope.

78. We say on the contrary that even the present pope, or any pope whatsoever, has greater graces at his disposal, that is, the gospel,spiritual powers, gifts of healing, etc., as it is written, 1 Corinthians 12:28).

79. To say that the cross emblazoned with the papal coat of arms, and set up by the indulgence preachers is equal in worth to the cross of Christ is blasphemy.

80. The bishops, curates, and theologians who permit such talk to be spread among the people will have to answer for this.

81. This unbridled preaching of indulgences makes it difficult even for learned men to rescue the reverence which is due the pope from slander or from the shrewd questions of the laity.

82. Such as: "Why does not the pope empty purgatory for the sake of holy love and the dire need of the souls that are there if he redeems an infinite number of souls for the sake of miserable money with which to build a church? The former reason would be most just; the latter is most trivial.

83. Again, "Why are funeral and anniversary masses for the dead continued and why does he not return or permit the withdrawal of the endowments founded for them, since it is wrong to pray for the redeemed?"

84. Again, "What is this new piety of God and the pope that for a consideration of money they permit a man who is impious and their enemy to buy out of purgatory the pious soul of a friend of God and do not rather, because of the need of that pious and beloved soul, free it for pure love's sake?"

85. Again, "Why are the penitential canons, long since abrogated and dead in actual fact and through disuse, now satisfied by the granting of indulgences as though they were still alive and in force?"

86. Again, "Why does not the pope, whose wealth is today greater than the wealth of the richest Crassus, build this one basilica of St. Peter with his own money rather than with the money of poor believers?"

87. Again, "What does the pope remit or grant to those who by perfect contrition already have a right to full remission and blessings?"

88. Again, "What greater blessing could come to the church than if the pope were to bestow these remissions and blessings on every believer a hundred times a day, as he now does but once?"

89. "Since the pope seeks the salvation of souls rather than money by his indulgences, why does he suspend the indulgences and pardons previously granted when they have equal efficacy?"

90. To repress these very sharp arguments of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose the church and the pope to the ridicule of their enemies and to make Christians unhappy.

91. If, therefore, indulgences were preached according to the spirit and intention of the pope, all these doubts would be readily resolved. Indeed, they would not exist.

92. Away, then, with all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, "Peace, peace," and there is no peace! (Jeremiah 6:14)

93. Blessed be all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, "Cross, cross," and there is no cross!

94. Christians should be exhorted to be diligent in following Christ, their Head, through penalties, death and hell.

95. And thus be confident of entering into heaven through many tribulations rather than through the false security of peace (Acts 14:22).

I passed my PC(USA) Ordination Exam

2007-10-22T16:25:00.000-04:00

I passed! I don't know my scores... and I don't really care. I passed the (final) exam and now I can get back to work on figuring out this whole call process, where we will go, and what I will be called to do. Even in my joy and relief, I mourn the fact that many of my friends did not pass one or more of these exams. Some are contemplating the possibility of switching denominations, some are just preparing for the next go-round. My thoughts and prayers are with them all.

Lessons from an Interim Youth Director

2007-10-07T22:24:00.000-04:00

1. Taking Sabbath time is probably the hardest part of the job.
2. You will quickly become attached.
3. You will know things... things that can only be spoken over PB&J.
4. Politics is just as operative in Jr. High as in international negotiations.
5. Youth need pastors just as much as grown ups do.
6. Everyone needs a buddy.
7. Email really can eat up a work day.
8. Recruiting help is dependent on calendars that you do not have access to.
9. There will be "history" that you will not be aware of.
10. Birthdays are big deals.
11. Today's youth are busy, busy, busy... but also starving for real relationships.
12. Pictures are important.
13. Maybe 20% of youth actually read their emails.
14. Everything is a matter of hurry up and wait.
15. Planning requires presence.
16. It is wonderful to see youth participate in all aspects of worship.
17. Budgets are only as good as your latest printout.
18. Never sit down.
19. Karaoke machines have too many instructions.
20. Guest speakers need a firm time limit... an exact stopping time.
21. Eating is often the main activity, no matter the program.
22. If there is not enough activity, clumping will occur.
23. The Holy Spirit really is involved... thank God!
24. Someone will always need to show up late or leave early.
25. It is always easy to get a volunteer when you ask face to face.
26. Making a list helps.
27. The mailing list is your friend.
28. You will never figure out where all the supplies are hidden.
29. The parents will have your cell phone number programed into their phones.
30. Your phone will therefore be viewed as community property.
--maybe more tomorrow

Sold...

2007-10-02T23:29:00.000-04:00

We're expecting!

2007-09-29T22:40:00.000-04:00

Baby number two is due Mid-April. Leigh has been having a rough first trimester. Celia can say "baby" and point to mommy's tummy. More later...

Doctor, doctor... give me some news, I've got a bad case of ...

2007-09-27T23:11:00.000-04:00

Cervical Whiplash!

On Tuesday I, while I was out running some errands, a man rear-ended my car. I had been stopped at a light for about a minute when... BAM! I got out of the car and spoke with the driver. He had a lap full of cell phone and Ipod... and said he had been looking down at his phone. He followed me into a parking lot and I took down his information. About an hour later, I started feeling sore in my shoulder area. Two days later, I feel like someone hit me in the back with a baseball bat. I went to the doctor today. He said that I will be sore for a week or so and then I can see a chiropractor and massage therapist. Hopefully, I will not have any long-lasting symptoms. The moral of this story is... whiplash is real and it is not at all pleasant.

Does the body of Christ have a soul?

2007-09-25T05:10:00.000-04:00

I spent the weekend at John Knox ranch, at the Main Event for Youth. We talked about community and being the body of Christ. Reflecting on that theme, I think we are all suffering from a poor self image or (at least) placing too much emphasis on what our body "looks like". So, what is the soul? The goal? The thing that illuminates us? This spark of life that comes from somewhere else?

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. -C.S. Lewis

Grieving

2007-09-20T05:08:00.000-04:00

Dreams will not let me sleep tonight...
It has been eight years since my brother died.
The death of my father-in-law has brought some of that more distant loss to the surface... to mix with new loss.
I miss my brother's voice. I miss his warmth. I miss his hugs. I don't ever want those dreams I have, where I see him, to end.
I don't know what to do with his comic book collection. (Funny... but this has been an unresolved issue for way too long.)
Anyway, here is tonight's dream...

It's time to move. This isn't a change of domiciles in the manner that I am accustomed to. This is an abrupt, life preserving and strategic move... over the golden bridge.

Running full speed. Carrying nothing. There is danger on my heels. I know this place--know its contours and rhythm. It is much greener now than I remembered. My family will come later... after the area is secured and there may be a safe passage. Out of breath I turn the final corner and there is my brother. Bow in hand, he aims back toward the path I have just run. (I think: Don't shoot, my girls are back there! Then I realize that they are out of range anyway.) Practice points. Always practice points... signs of immaturity (I think) and then he lets the arrow fly.

The snake doesn't move. It was already dead and this shot is the fifth arrow to pierce that thin line in the grass. My brother has become a marksman, better than any I have ever seen. Practice points... but I can see he has put them to good use as I look back down the path.

I enter the house. It is in bad shape, neglected for too long. The floor has gaps that let in the cold. I bend down to survey the scene. Rats. I hate rats... and in an energized fury... the rat killing begins. I pick up a board and those maggot infested vermin and their filthy friends fly at the bite of my swing. The coast is clear (my yard is in order) and I begin preparing the new homestead. Where is my bro... Awake.

The Death of Drink

2007-09-17T23:49:00.000-04:00

When did the word fall

From drink to dip

From sup this cup

To barbaric rip?

No more to share

The bounty there

at table o’ the King

instead to rip and dip

slip, trip, quip.

New Computer

2007-09-16T23:23:00.000-04:00

So, my motherboard died. :(

I called Dell and they walked me through the process of removing cd drive, memory, hard drive, modem, wireless card, etc. The tech said... "sorry, the only thing left is the motherboard". To replace the motherboard for my inspiron 9100 would cost $150 for parts and about 500 in labor... add taxes, diagnostics, etc. and you can see how it quickly becomes a lost cause.

On Friday, I bought a new laptop (not a Dell) for about half the price I paid for the Dell. So far I am loving it. I am turning my old hard-drive into a 60 gig USB Drive.

Let the good times scroll

FYI

2007-09-16T23:14:00.001-04:00

First aid for teeth that have been knocked out...

Find the tooth.
Put it in a glass of milk... really... a glass of milk!
If no milk is available, have the "owner" of the tooth spit in a cup and put the tooth in the spit.
Get the individual to the dentist/ER within an hour.

Teeth can be re-attached, but sometimes (like with my friend here) they will fall out again.

Chugga chugga choo chooooo!

2007-09-12T21:56:00.000-04:00

I think I can, I think I can...

In my first two weeks as a youth and children's director I have...
sent out 60 emails
received 180 emails
attended 4 committee meetings
received first aid and CPR training
organized and attended two picnics
supervised the making and selling of 200 breakfast tacos
consumed 3 large, cold breakfast tacos
been given the "name test" (where a youth gives you a serious look and asks "Do you know my name?")
passed the "name test"
battled the printer, learned how to use a new printer
recruited Sunday School teachers
recruited Youth Advisors (aka Seminary Students)
prayed for youth undergoing surgery
coordinated a presbytery wide youth event with other Youth Directors
hung pictures, bulletin boards, etc.
moved furniture
mourned the loss of my laptop (motherboard failure)
signed up youth for a retreat, mailed in regestration
read Sunday School curriculums
organized a "first communion" class
scheduled childcare workers
learned some new games
been given a nickname by the youth (Big D)

I like what I am doing but look forward to more personal contact and less administrative work. Have I mentioned that I am supposed to be working part-time? Ha ha ha...

Gearing up...

2007-09-06T22:45:00.000-04:00

This week I began my position at University Presbyterian Church as the Interim Director of Youth and Children's ministries. I am having a good time. I like the work.

Tuesday we watched this video entitled "Everyday Creativity". I recommend it.

Key Learning Points:

Creativity is a matter of perspective.
There's always more than one right answer.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
Learn to break the pattern.
Reframe problems into opportunities.
Train your technique.

In fond memory of Bob

2007-08-09T23:39:00.001-04:00

My father-in-law passed away this morning. I really liked Bob and I am going to miss him. Life is short. Enjoy it.

Thank you God...
for time to play
for time to work
for time to read, learn, and inwardly digest
thank you for smiles
for dreams
for family
for friends
thank you for life
for love
and for laughter.

Invitation to Christ

2007-08-04T23:19:00.000-04:00

I just ordered 100 free copies of this guide on the PCUSA website. The study has been available for some time but it has been flying under the radar. If you know Stan, you will see his work on every page. If you want a preview in PDF, click here.

I simpsonized myself

2007-08-04T23:06:00.000-04:00

Want to try it? Click here.

What I have been doing for the past 2 months...

2007-07-20T23:02:00.001-04:00

Packing
Moving
Painting
Unpacking
More Painting
Moving Friends
Swimming
Reading
Moving more stuff from storage
Cleaning
Reading
Shopping for a new (used) car
Going to the movies
Grilling in the backyard
Painting
Painting
Moving Friends
Saying Goodbye
Swimming
Reading
Playing with the Pink Princess
Eating ice cream
Playing in the rain
Temp Work
Temp Work
Cleaning
Eating
Sleeping
Starting to look at CIFs again
Planning for the fall (I will be interim director of youth and children's ministies at UPC)
Doing laundry
Doing Dishes
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.

May 20, 2007 Austin Seminary Graduation

2007-06-06T23:38:00.000-04:00

I have my "Master of Divinity" degree. Here is the footage...

No longer living on campus

2007-06-06T23:11:00.001-04:00

We moved. I'm tired. Finally have space to breathe. :)

Snow at the farm, day before Easter

2007-05-03T22:53:00.000-04:00

We are staying here

2007-05-01T16:59:00.000-04:00

At least now we know. Our plan is to stay here for (at least) the next six months. I have to start finding a new place to live.

Done!

2007-05-01T01:58:00.000-04:00

I am finished! Done with all of my work. I am going to proofread tomorrow... but for all intents and purposes, I am done with all of my schoolwork.

Did I just hear what I think I heard?

2007-04-28T00:11:00.000-04:00

What follows describes what is going on at the seminary this week... to tell the truth, I was one of those who was disturbed by what was said. There are certain words that (i believe) should not be uttered in worship... quoting someone else, or not. A congregation's pastor may take certain liberties--but that is only after establishing certain bonds. Those bonds are important... and they were not established between the speaker and those gathered on Tuesday. I am glad that we will be discussing these things on Wednesday. I am proud of the way this is now being handled. Any thoughts?

Sent: Friday, April 27, 2007 5:23:07 PM
To: #Admin_Faculty_Staff; #Student Email Users
Subject: A message from President Ted Wardlaw
Importance: High
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Dear Friends:

I am writing, here at the end of this week, to address a concern that is troubling many in the Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary community. On Tuesday of this week, after a sermon preached by Monya Stubbs , Janet Maykus, the celebrant, extemporaneously shared a personal experience of grace and redemption as a reflection on Monya’s image of “going to Galilee” and as a part of her Invitation to the Lord’s Table. This story was confusing to some and disturbing to others, and employed a quotation from her father that included a derogatory word. Serious conversations have taken place across this seminary community since Tuesday, as people have discussed this event in small conversation groups; but now I believe it is time for us to have a community-wide forum about the collection of concerns sparked by these conversations. I am inviting all of you—students, staff and faculty—to come to Stotts Hall next Wednesday afternoon, May 2, at 3:30 p.m. Please come on Wednesday at 3:30 prepared to speak—and to hear—the truth in love.

Faithfully yours,

Ted

Hooray...

2007-04-27T21:20:00.000-04:00

I have one paper left to finish. Really...only 4 pages left to write... then all of my work on my Master of Divinity degree will be finished. I am almost done with 4 years of theological education. Can I get an "amen"?

I'd buy that for a dollar!

2007-04-25T23:03:00.000-04:00

Last week the seminary library had a book sale. I picked up the Hexapla for $1. It weighs about 10 lbs. I love the book sales... I am going to miss them.

The English "Hexapla" (from the root word "hex" meaning "six", such as a six-sided "hexagon") was printed in 1841 by Samuel Bagster and Sons of London, England. This wonderful resource of textual comparison is something no Christian's library should be without. The English Hexapla Parallel New Testament has been called "a Bible collection in one volume."

It contains the six most important English language translations of the New Testament, all arranged in parallel columns for easy textual comparison of any passage. Each left-hand page shows: The Wycliffe version of 1380 (the first English scripture), The Tyndale version of 1534-1536 (the first English printed scripture), and Cranmer's Great Bible of 1539 (the first Authorized English Bible). Continuing across each right-hand page is: The Geneva “1557” - translation actually completed in 1560, (the Bible of the Protestant Reformation), The Rheims 1582 (the first Roman Catholic English version), and the 1611 King James First Edition... all side-by-side, and also laid out so the passages roughly match-up top-to-bottom as well.

Rule #1: Don't sweat the small stuff

2007-04-11T00:51:00.000-04:00

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

In for an inch, in for a mile.

2007-04-04T21:53:00.000-04:00

As I was standing in the street,
As quiet as could be,
A great big ugly man came up,
And tied his horse to me.

Is that a Book of Order in her hands?

2007-04-04T21:47:00.000-04:00

Mother, may I go and swim?
Yes, my darling daughter.
Hang your clothes on yonder limb,
But don't go near the water.

The ultimate restraint

2007-03-29T17:02:00.000-04:00

Do not move unless it is advantageous.
Do not execute unless it is effective.
Do not challenge unless it is critical.

An intense view is not a reason to launch an opposition.
An angry leader is not a reason to initiate a challenge.

If engagement brings advantage, move.
If not, stop.

Intensity can cycle back to fondness.
Anger can cycle back to satisfaction.
But an extinct organization cannot cycle back to survival.
And those who are destroyed cannot cycle back to life.

Thus a Brilliant Ruler is prudent;
A Good Leader is on guard.

Such is the way of a Stable Organization and a Complete Force.

-The Art of Strategy

Litany to the Holy Spirit

2007-03-27T04:31:00.000-04:00

In the hour of my distress,
When temptations me oppress,
And when I my sins confess,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When I lie within my bed,
Sick in heart and sick in head,
And with doubts discomforted,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the house doth sigh and weep,
And the world is drown'd in sleep,
Yet mine eyes the watch do keep,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the passing bell doth toll,
And the Furies in a shoal
Come to fright a parting soul,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the tapers now burn blue,
And the comforters are few,
And that number more than true,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the priest his last hath pray'd,
And I nod to what is said,
'Cause my speech is now decay'd,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When, God knows, I'm tossed about
Either with despair or doubt;
Yet before the glass be out,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the tempter me pursu'th
With the sins of all my youth,
And half damns me with untruth,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the flames and hellish cries
Fright mine ears and fright mine eyes,
And all terrors me surprise,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

When the Judgment is reveal'd,
And that open'd which was seal'd,
When to Thee I have appeal'd,
Sweet Spirit, comfort me!

-Robert Herrick

The Shepherd Boy sings in the Valley of Humiliation

2007-03-27T03:52:00.000-04:00

He that is down needs fear no fall,
He that is low, no pride;
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.

I am content with what I have,
Little be it or much:
And, Lord, contentment still I crave,
Because Thou savest such.

Fullness to such a burden is
That go on pilgrimage:
Here little, and hereafter bliss,
Is best from age to age.

-John Bunyan

Where My Books Go

2007-03-27T03:48:00.000-04:00

All the words that I utter,
And all the words that I write,
Must spread out their wings untiring,
And never rest in their flight,
Till they come where your sad, sad heart is,
And sing to you in the night,
Beyond where the waters are moving,
Storm-darken'd or starry night.

-W. B. Yeats

Ouch!

2007-03-26T17:28:00.000-04:00

That hurt.

On your mark... ... ...

2007-03-24T16:13:00.000-04:00

If all things go well on Monday, it will set into motion a series of events that will enable me to start "officially" looking for a call around the middle of April. Here are the locations of the churches that are currently at the top of our list.

I just needed to get a good visual of where these places are. (If you click on the adjacent image, you will get a clearer picture.)

We have never lived outside of Texas. This may be quite an adventure!

Thanks, Google Earth!

PC(USA) Ordination Exam results will be released on Monday

2007-03-23T15:47:00.000-04:00

There is no prayer in the Book of Common Worship that addresses seminary students waiting for Ordination exam results...
but there should be...

Almighty and merciful God,
I confess that I am anxious about Monday's results.
The knot in my stomach continues to grow.
I am afraid of the chaos that "not passing" this final test would create for my family
and I am uncertain how I could have possibly prepared any more than I did.
But I know that you are with me, and that my identity is not tied up in exams.
I know that it is not about me.
Thank you for teaching me humility, patience and perseverance over the past several months.
Thank you for waiting with me, comforting me, and sustaining me.
As the time comes near to recieve the exam results,
I thank you that, in our day, you are still claiming men and women
for special work within your church.
For all of those who wait... give us hope, courage, and renewed faith.
It is in the name of Jesus Christ we ask. Amen.

PC(USA) Candidates Seeking Placement

2007-03-10T00:35:00.000-05:00

Please notice the new listing: "Other candidates seeking a call", in the adjacent column. If anyone knows of other institutional listings of this sort, please let me know. Here are the links I have found so far:

And here are the ones I am missing:

Johnson C. Smith Theological Seminary

San Francisco Theological Seminary

Union Theological Seminary

Spring Break

2007-03-09T22:06:00.000-05:00

I'm still wearing the collar... until March 20th. I will feel liberated when I can "be in the presence of another human being" (our assignment/experiment in the entry into ministry class) without sporting this unique fashion plate. Here is some info on the clerical collar:

A clerical collar is a piece of clerical clothing that that buttons onto a clergy shirt, being fastened by two metal studs, one attached at the front and one at the back to hold the collar to the shirt. The collar closes at the back of the neck, presenting a seamless front. It is almost always white.

The clerical collar is a fairly modern invention (the detachable collar itself is supposed to have been invented in 1827). The practice of Anglican clergy wearing a detachable clerical collar was invented by a Rev Dr Donald McLeod and became more popular through the Oxford Movement.

In the Roman Catholic Church, the clerical collar is worn by all ranks of clergy, thus, bishops, priests, and deacons--normally transitional but occasionally permanent; often by seminarians who have been admitted to candidacy for the priesthood, as is the case in the Diocese of Rome; and by college and graduate level seminarians with their cassock during liturgical celebrations.
Collars are typically worn by clergy members of other Christian Churches such as Anglican and Lutheran Churches. Also many Methodist, Presbyterian, Apostolic, Oneness Pentecostals, Non-denominational, and other Christian ministers wear collars. In some churches or locales this practice is discouraged because collars are assumed to be associated with Roman Catholicism.

In the United Kingdom, clerical collars are sometimes informally called dog collars. The term "Roman collar" refers to a style and does not mean that the wearer is Roman Catholic.

I call "radical middle"

2007-03-08T22:36:00.000-05:00

As I have been looking over many "Church Information Forms" (CIFs) recently, it has become exceedingly clear that we, human creatures, do like to choose sides. Some of us will end up choosing "the left", some "the right"...and as far as I can tell, such decisions DO make life easier...like using a template to aid in some work. (Easier doesn't necessarily mean better.)

Now, If I say that I am slightly left, or slightly right--then I become easily categorized, labeled, filed away, and pigeon-holed. But, through baptism (in death and rebirth), I claim option three... drawing on the best of "both" sides.

At the center of our true identity, we find the sacraments...which continually call us to Christ. It is in this invitation to Christ that we crash into God's good news.

Below you will find links to the web pages of several "movements" within the church. I invite you to be familiar with these templates...but know that these feel, to me, to be mirages in the desert.

Senior sermon finished, now the "senioritis" kicks in

2007-02-28T12:41:00.000-05:00

I preached my "Senior sermon" on Monday. It went well, but looking at the video makes me realize that I still have a long way to go. This process, sermon writing, reminds me of the time in my life when I relied on a bicycle as my main means of transportation (during college) and was hired to teach swim lessons at an athletic club that was 6 miles away from my apartment. The first time I made that ride...I thought I was going to die. The next week I thought I was going to puke up a lung. Over the next few weeks, I thought I would never be able to walk normal again, my legs were so sore.

But after I had made that 12 mile round trip a few hundred times--the distance no longer took its toll on me. I could ride all day without being sore. I found that the conditioning allowed me to be able to ride 100 miles of rough trail in a day, and I often did. I hope that sermon preparation and delivery is something like that. I think I have hit the "my legs are so sore" stage, but I am also very excited about the next 100 miles. To watch Monday's chapel sermon, click here.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

Senior Sermon

2007-02-12T23:10:00.000-05:00

In two weeks I will be preaching my "senior sermon" in chapel. I have chosen the Luke text which accounts the "temptation" in the desert.

Here are my initial thoughts...

Luke 4:1-13 illustrates three patterns of temptation which constantly threaten to corrupt the Christian life: self-dependence (a failure to trust in God’s provision), misplaced loyalty (the idolatry of putting sacred trust in false gods), and short-sighted faith (remaining true to the letter of God’s word while failing to embrace the spirit in which it is revealed, written, and proclaimed). In this pericope (Selected text), Jesus thwarts the devil’s endeavors to corrupt his faith, obedience, and authority by recalling scripture rooted in Israel’s wilderness journey. Consequently, he reveals what healthy faith is capable of and how we may appropriately respond to God’s grace.

Sermon Outline:

I. Introduction
What do we know about temptation? We often refer to temptation when we speak of that decadent dessert after dinner, the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, or some other guilty pleasure. In doing so, we try to put a great deal of distance between ourselves and those things that tempt us. If we have learned anything from Adam and Eve, it is that temptations open the door to sin. Temptations are not the same thing as sins—just the possibility—just the crack in the door. (Include an example here.)
II. Temptations
A. Making the connection between the text and real life.
Here in Luke we read of Jesus being tempted in the desert. The temptations are real, they are attractive, and they carry seemingly desirable outcomes. What makes them so relevant to us today is that they are common temptations to every man, woman, and child that walks the earth.
I know you are probably thinking “Not me; I haven’t been in the desert. I haven’t run into the devil.” That is what is so deceptive about these temptations—in looking at how Jesus experienced them, we often fail to see their universality.
B. Examining the deeper meanings. (3 parts)
The first one isn’t about turning rocks into bread. Let that sink in. This first temptation is not about using special power over nature in order to have something to eat for lunch. The temptation here is in being too self-dependant. The temptation is about relying so much on human ability, reason, talent—whatever, that we forget our dependence on God. Why were Adam and Eve exiled to the wilderness, except to re-consider their fallen nature and their dependence on God. Why did Moses lead God’s people in the desert for 40 years, except to ensure that there were generations who understood their ultimate dependence in God’s grace and provision. So, when Jesus quotes Deuteronomy, saying “One does not live by bread alone”, he is acknowledging that lesson that took 40 years of wandering the desert, eating the manna that God provided.
Likewise, the second temptation is not just about bowing down before the devil. This temptation also strikes much closer to home than it appears at first glance. It is about worshiping false gods, idolatry, and misplacing priorities. The temptation is so real to Jesus because it consists of all those things a messiah is supposed to have (power, prestige, the nations of the world handed over on a silver platter—only, the ends do not justify the means. Jesus again quotes Deuteronomy—“You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve.” Idolatry comes in all shapes and sizes. We teach it to our children, we share it as a culture, we have replaced “house idols” of the past with other possessions—possessions we must be careful not to become enslaved to: a house in the “right” neighborhood, the “right” car, membership to the “right” club, whatever. American Idolatry runs rampant; we too often bow down to whatever neon god is the newest. In refusing the devil’s offer, Jesus gives us hope—and reminds us that we are not to replace our dependence on God with dependence in someone else. As Christians, it is God who defines us—not the things of the world.
Finally, a closer look into the third temptation helps us to understand, in greater detail, the appropriate response to God’s word to us. In this temptation, the devil tries to entice Jesus to test out his status as God’s son. The devil even uses scripture to make his argument. Jesus responds by saying, “Do not put the Lord your God to the test.” Again, this is a quote from Deuteronomy. Jesus recalls that dependence on God is not something that is conditional, it is not a relationship based on bargains, and it does not rely on proofs or signs. Such a temptation addresses the human tendency to have short-sighted faith. When we can not see where God is leading us, we begin to question God’s guidance. At times, we become self destructive because we do not know how the situation will play out. For some, this turns into myopic inspection of God’s word—like scribes that miss the “spirit if the law” in their study of the “letter of the law.” Again, Jesus guides us through this difficult passage by reminding us that God makes the first move and reaches out to save us where we are. To test that grace by trial denies the faith founded in following God’s lead.
III. Jesus Christ as the unfailing example.
A. Strength in vulnerability.
Throughout all of these temptations, we have an example to follow in Jesus. In the end, it is the same solution for all three scenarios—it is our relationship with God (our total dependence in God’s grace) that strengthens us to be the people God intends us to be. Acknowledging our total and utter dependence on God strengthens us to remain true to God’s laws, commandments, and wishes. Here, what the world would call a failure is transformed into a strength. Power is made perfect in weakness.
B. Call to discipleship.
As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are called to remember those Old Testament lessons as well as the new covenant in his name. While none of us have been tempted by the devil in the desert, it is pretty safe to say that all of us have fallen short, at some time, in our attempt to give God our highest priority. Even in our failure, we have been lifted up with Christ—to revel in that relationship with God that is unblemished by such sins. That is the good news for us today. Jesus Christ, aware of the sorted history of God’s people, stood up to the worldly lures that were unfounded in God’s providence—and set the record straight. The repercussion of such an event shakes the “rule of the devil” as far back as the Garden of Eden—as it shakes our world today.
C. Our response to God’s grace.
What is our response to be? We are to follow in his footsteps—as best we can. We are to acknowledge that we can do nothing apart from the will of God. We are to ask ourselves (personally and as a community) where our priorities lie; in love of God and neighbor or in modern idols? And, we are to put our hope, dependence, direction, and faith in God’s hands—unconditionally. By following Jesus in these ways, we too make our way through the desert, guided by the Holy Spirit. We retrace the steps of God’s people, knowing that when we fall, God is always there to catch us in those trials and tribulations that are real and relevant to our everyday lives.
IV. Conclusion
The Christian life is not without challenge; it is most fully realized by living in response to God.

I have posted my résumé

2007-02-09T22:56:00.000-05:00

Go ahead, take a look, you know you want to. It is the résumé you have been looking for.

In other news, I have been driving my wife crazy by paging through clergy robe catalogues and contemplating the clerical garb that I will wear for a whole month (starting February 20th). No wonder old Ben Kenobi ended up as a hermit.

In a class of its own...

2007-02-03T01:07:00.000-05:00

The class list (showing graduating Presbyterian students) is up and running. Hooray! Take a look by clicking here.

I've been very busy...

2007-02-01T10:43:00.000-05:00

First there were final papers to finish
then there was the cross country Christmas caravan
only to return home, to pack and travel to Sun City, AZ
Two weeks away from my girls :(
Home, Study, retake the Theology Ordination Exam
(I feel good about this one, results back March 26)
drove to Dallas, Preached,
back to Austin, finished paper for Sun City class
Mid winter lectures
Austin Seminary Alumni Assoc. luncheon (too long!)

Whew! Now it time to turn attention to the job search. If you are asking, "What does such a search look like?", then you will get a small taste by clicking here. Keep in mind that there are currently 71 open Associate Pastor positions for candidates looking for a "first call" ...these are the ones that are "in line" with what I am looking for. (71= first call and 0-2 years of experience)

Christmas Meme /ChristmasTradition

2006-12-05T17:39:00.000-05:00

The term "meme" (rhymes with "theme"), refers to a unit of cultural information transferable from one mind to another. Examples of memes are tunes, catch-phrases, clothes fashions, ways of making pots or of building arches.

Meme-theorists contend that memes most beneficial to their hosts will not necessarily survive; rather, those memes which replicate the most effectively spread best.

This list is making the rounds in the blogosphere. Thanks to The Element for inspiring me to supply my own responses (I too, needed the break from my remaining school project):

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate...I like the "hot"

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa wraps anything that is not "assembly required"...and just puts a bow on anything that is "assembly required". However, Mrs. Claus has veto power.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White, white, white

4. Do you hang mistletoe? That stuff is poisonous.

5. When do you put your decorations up? When exams are over.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? fudge...it's not a dessert, it's an ....okay, it's a dessert--but I'm not changing my answer

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? Sitting around the fireplace, listening to the fire crack.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I saw my Christmas present in the closet when I was about 5. However, I still thought my Grandfather had "connections" until my early 30's.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We usually get home from church so late that all we want to do is go to bed. With the "multi-family" Christmas, we end up opening gifts days before Christmas morning and days after.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? We have ornaments (currently in storage)

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? I love snow but it is more likely to be in the 70's (this is Texas) than in the 30's

12. Can you ice skate? In a straight line.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Yes, Thanks Leigh!

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? The Word made flesh

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? I already told you, fudge.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Carols, family, fudge.

17. What tops your tree? angel.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Giving...I am a good shopper. I am also hard to buy for--because I have everything I could possibly need.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? O Come All Ye Faithful.

20. Candy canes: yuck or yum? All things in moderation (unless you've got some fudge on ya)

21. Favorite Christmas movie? It's a Wonderful Life

22. What do you leave for Santa? Cookies and milk (and some fudge if there is any left)

What do you say Sara, Renee, Brian?

The Bible in 50 Words

2006-11-16T08:42:00.000-05:00

God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea devided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained

XXXIII

2006-11-05T19:17:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday... and if there is anything I have learned over the past 33 years-- it is that "everyday" events (like an evening with the family, or lunch at church, or doing laundry with the ones you love) bring true happiness and joy into our lives.

Tonight I am spending a low-key evening with my wife and daughter. All is right in the world.

Happy Reformation Day

2006-10-31T10:57:00.000-05:00

To celebrate Reformation Day, the staff of University Presbyterian Church is attending a concert at the Blanton Museum of Art. Today's special presentation is Bach's "Ein feste Burg ist unsrer Gott" or "A Mighty Fortress is Our God".

From wikipedia:

Reformation Day is a religious holiday celebrated in remembrance of the Reformation, particularly by Lutheran and Reformed church communities. It takes place on October 31 and is an official holiday in many countries. It coincides with Halloween, the eve before All Saints' Day. Many families in the Reformed tradition do not allow their children to observe Halloween because of various perceived Satanic associations (see Halloween#Religious viewpoints).

On this day in 1517, Martin Luther posted a proposal at the doors of a church in Wittenberg, Germany to debate the doctrine and practice of indulgences. This proposal is popularly known as the 95 Theses, which he nailed to the Castle Church doors. This was not an act of defiance or provocation as is sometimes thought. Since the Castle Church faced Wittenberg's main thoroughfare, the church door functioned as a public bulletin board and was therefore the logical place for posting important notices. Nonetheless, the event created a controversy between Luther and those allied with the Pope over a variety of doctrines and practices. When Luther and his supporters were excommunicated in 1520, the Lutheran, Reformed and Anabaptist traditions were born.

Within the Lutheran church, Reformation Day is considered a minor festival, and is officially referred to as The Festival of the Reformation. Until the 20th Century, most Lutheran churches celebrated Reformation Day on October 31st, regardless of which day of the week it occurred. Today, most Lutheran churches transfer the festival, so that it falls on the Sunday (called Reformation Sunday) on or before October 31st and transfer All Saints' Day to the Sunday on or after November 1st.

The liturgical color of the day is red, which represents the Holy Spirit and the Martyrs of the Christian Church. Luther's hymn, A Mighty Fortress is our God is traditionally sung on this day. Lutherans customarily stand during the hymn, in memory of its use in the religious wars of the Sixteenth Century.

Chicken Soup

2006-10-29T22:21:00.000-05:00

I have been fighting a sinus infection for days. Although I am on antibiotics and codeine laced cough syrup, I hardly feel any better. I had to walk out of a Sunday school lecture this morning because I was coughing uncontrollably. Soup or warm tea seem to have greatest affect.

What is it in chicken soup that makes us feel better? (A question for the ages!)

Only slightly related: I feel another kind of sick. It may be difficult to describe, understand, or respond to... but I have had this sinking feeling for the past semester or so. This feeling is attached to my relationship with my cohorts (students at the seminary) and especially within my entering class. Over the past year, as we have taken more electives and less of the core curriculum classes--we have seen less of each other. We seem to be a less cohesive group. We are following our individual calls more (as it should be) and preparing to leave the seminary for parts unknown. There is anxiety entering into this secluded seminary environment... who will find a call, who won't, who will keep in touch, who will abandon the ministry, who will burn out, who will bloom, who will be spirit led and spirit fed?

I don't know. I hope that the coming chapters of our lives will be as interesting as these recent ones. I hope to retain those bonds we have formed over the past two years, nurture them, and help them to continue to grow. But, what about this growing anxiety about the uncertainty of the future? My plan: I know that I can't do much, but I can be more intentional in my prayer life. And so, my plan is to start praying for my classmates on a more regular basis. By name. Everyday. I hope that this new structure to my daily life will help to put some things back into their proper perspective. This is a practice I picked up as a chaplain this summer. (Once you have a good practice, you really shouldn't give it up.)

Help

2006-10-24T22:52:00.000-04:00

I know some of you geniuses know how to post a pdf on a blog. Can you walk me through it?

Beta better be brilliant

2006-10-24T22:46:00.000-04:00

So, I took the leap.

The glass three-quarters full

2006-10-24T22:41:00.000-04:00

I got PC(USA) ordination exam results back yesterday. I will be retaking one exam in January. This is the day the Lord hath made... let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Ps. Four days of study (between CPE and the ords) is apparently not enough.

What differentiates us?

2006-10-24T22:32:00.000-04:00

Just a quick question for you... as I have been brushing up on some of my marketing skills, the question emerged... What makes us different?

My answer will be: education. Therefore, education is what we should push. Any thoughts?

Last Sunday's Sermon

2006-09-29T22:52:00.000-04:00

This past Sunday was "Theological Education Sunday" at University Presbyterian Church. I put together the order for worship and preached on Mark 9:30-37. For a copy of my sermon, click here. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

A trip to the game

2006-09-29T22:43:00.000-04:00

I won tickets to the game by cooking a batch of Chilli. It was my first time to visit the Ex Student's Association

We left at the end of the 3rd quarter ...lightning.

Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary...Fall Fest

2006-09-29T22:32:00.000-04:00

Which theologian are you?

2006-09-08T20:58:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the quiz Brother Pappan.

John Calvin

93%

Anselm

87%

Martin Luther

67%

Jurgen Moltmann

60%

Friedrich Schleiermacher

47%

Karl Barth

40%

Augustine

33%

Charles Finney

27%

Paul Tillich

27%

Jonathan Edwards

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

What if?

2006-09-06T22:13:00.000-04:00

{The beginning of the semester...and I am already running behind. Is that just the natural state of things? Too much has gone on in the past couple of weeks to post--so I won't. Instead, I look ahead. Look to the creative process, alive in the world, radiating from inside/outside/from beyond...Have to change the world (with God's help, I will)...so tomorrow, pick up 1 piece of trash=1 less spam attack. It is a matter of using time wisely, being trained visibly and covertly.}

New time: God recreated my world in the breaking of bread...in the tasting of wine. What I remember before that moment is fuzzy history...circle circle dot dot

My bible exegesis in a nutshell

2006-08-31T10:48:00.000-04:00

Luke 4:1-13 illustrates three patterns of temptation which constantly threaten to corrupt the Christian life: self-dependence (a failure to trust in God’s provision), misplaced loyalty (the idolatry of putting sacred trust in false gods), and short-sighted faith (remaining true to the letter of God’s word while failing to embrace the spirit in which it is revealed, written, and proclaimed). In this pericope, Jesus thwarts the devil’s endeavors to corrupt his faith, obedience, and authority by recalling scripture rooted in Israel’s wilderness journey. Consequently, he reveals what healthy faith is capable of and how we may appropriately respond to God’s grace.

I am taking a vacation for a few days...via con dios.

Hofstadter's trees

2006-08-20T22:42:00.000-04:00

What do we know? How do we know it? Today we went to a semi-private catholic baptism. The whole time I was thinking about how we communicate. In "live" human communication, body language and tone carry much of the message. The words we speak play a small part of the message. Much of the time, I process "what someone says" through "who the person is". Things said, that seem out of sorts, are colored by the body language and tone of the speaker. What does this mean for the printed page? scripture? poetry? theology? It means something.

Are you on myspace?

2006-08-17T18:52:00.000-04:00

I don't really use "myspace" much, but I am finding that it is a good way to reconnect with friends from the past. As more people sign up, the ability to network becomes easier. I have been delighted, amused, amazed, dumbfounded, and surprised to find out what has been happening with friends of the past. If you haven't looked into it...maybe you should.

Take me out to the ballpark

2006-08-16T23:08:00.000-04:00

This weekend we went to Houston for an Astros game.
Box seats.

Oh, the life of a poor grad student.

3 Chaplains that are happy their internship is over.

2006-08-16T22:56:00.000-04:00

What does a final self evaluation look like:

1. List your learning goals. Give one example for each goal of how you purposefully attempted to address the goal. What new insights, if any, do you have about ministry and about yourself with respect to your goals?

a) To practice pastoral skills in a clinical setting

by interacting with patients and family:

I performed daily pastoral visits with patients on my assigned floor and followed patients (or their families), during times of crisis, healing, uncertainty, stress, and transfer to other facilities or discharge home. Sometimes I liked the routine, but sometimes it began to wear on me.

by providing spiritual guidance and support:

I practiced being a non-anxious presence: relying on prayer, relying on reformed theology in the light of ecumenical practice, by identifying my own emotional responses and those of the patient, and by helping individuals call on support systems that they already had in place or by referring them to other avenues for support (i.e. social workers, family, or church).

by practicing listening skills:

I tried to keep in mind those listening skills that strengthen trust and communication. I also tried to remain aware of the daily distractions to active listening—and name these for what they are, whenever possible. I found some people easier to listen to than others—and some conversations carried more of an impact on me, especially speaking with the parents of patients. Perhaps this has something to do with my history and knowing how hard those conversations can be.

by being familiar with available referral sites:

I tried to remain aware of individuals that had been identified as “hospice” or “palliative care” patients. I made special efforts to speak with these people and their families on a regular basis. The social worker kept me informed of situations on the floor that were unusual, and I asked questions about these situations, where appropriate. Something I wish I had done this summer is visiting some of the hospice locations many people from my floor transferred to.

b) To develop a process of self evaluation

by utilizing group feedback:

I have found group feedback to be helpful in identifying personal style, in identifying other working theologies, and essential to processing thoughts and feelings from stressful situations. In terms of self evaluation, I have found myself focusing more on my feelings in order to self access my ability to fully engage in pastoral ministry. The group helped me to identify relevant feelings or concerns in a more timely manner. By utilizing group feedback, I have felt more equipped to process and deal with my own feelings as well as the feelings of those I have observed in the hospital and in the CPE group. I have also become acutely aware of my need for “self care”. I know that I am not effective when I am worn down—and that it is during those times when my energy level is at its lowest that I am most susceptible to illness or stress.

by responding to direct supervision:

I have found the supervision process to be rewarding and informative. During supervision I have especially enjoyed learning of different techniques and practices regarding self care, for maintaining pastorally engaged with groups of people, and for inter-departmental relationships.

by becoming familiar with acceptable outcomes:

I have learned that every situation carries with it its own set of circumstances and possibilities. I have found that the chaplain’s role must be flexible in order to serve a diverse population—and at the same time, the chaplain must be firm in only participating in those activities that align with his or her theological convictions.

c) To make effective use of my religious heritage

by participating in daily prayer:

I have participated in daily intercessory prayer for my patients, the hospital staff, and my peers. Some days these prayers have been more intentional than others—asking for specific outcomes or assistance. Other days, I have found myself lifting up names or situations in prayer, and trying to be more open to God’s response. I have used the PC(USA) Book of Common Worship frequently during my personal prayer time, and as a guide during times of crisis.

by participating in corporate prayer and worship:

I have found that participating in corporate worship (Sunday morning, for example) is difficult to do when I have been up all night. One Sunday, after an especially long on-call, I did attend an evening service at another Presbyterian church—but I missed the community and support that a “home congregation” can provide. I believe that it will be good for me to return to my normal weekly routine. While I did attend mass at SMC a few times, but I did not feel well connected there. I was familiar with the liturgy and with many individuals in attendance, but I felt a bit like someone who had been invited to the table but who was unworthy of the banquet.

by becoming familiar with PC(USA) resources:

One of my most insightful observations this summer has been in researching and implementing the theology recorded in the Presbyterian Book of Common Worship, Book of Order, and Book of Confessions. I have realized that the tradition I am affiliated with has become very “white bread” in its outlook. I was disappointed to discover that the Presbyterian church has several disconnects between reality (as I have observed it in the CPE program) and the reformed theology that the church embraces so desperately. The intersection of various cultures, languages, family structures, and inter-family dynamics makes “real life” much more complex than what Presbyterian heritage, doctrine, and dogma account for. This will need to be addressed in my future ministry.

2. Reflecting on your own faith perspective and your theology for ministry, give a specific example in each of the following areas of ways in which your faith was affected (e.g., enhanced, challenged, enlarged):

A. yourself in general (from the events of the summer)

I knew that during this summer I would have to face several fears—and I was worried about how my faith would fair during those times. One of those fears was walking into the room at Brackenridge where my brother died. I walked into the same physical space late one night—but it was no longer the same room. It had changed (like most areas of Brackenridge have over the past 7 years) and I have changed. I knew that CPE would force me to live into my theology—and recognize those areas where it is stronger (private prayer) and those where it is weaker (public prayer, answering questions about “why”). I know that my faith and my theology for ministry are very strong—because I firmly believe that “it is not about me”. I know that we are called to serve one another—and to walk with one another, in hardship and in good fortune. I believe that I can point to CPE and say that it has taught me that I can, with God’s help, enter into the most difficult of situations and be present—praise God—and love neighbor. Throughout the summer, my faith remained very centered in God’s grace and sovereignty—the one caveat was the environment…but I firmly believe that God’s grace and sovereignty are present even in the very depths of hell. I have often reminded myself of the words spoken to me by my first seminary professor, “If there is anything in the world that can shake your theology—then you have the wrong theology. Go back to the drawing board.”

B. you in relation to colleagues (a peer or your peer group or supervisor)

I enjoyed being in this group. I have found the different perspectives enlightening and at times attractive. I have realized how important it is to have a small group for pastoral support and exchange of ideas. Although we usually had some type of reflection before our classes, I found myself wishing that we could be able to worship together—in some “normal” way, outside the boundaries of the hospital. I appreciated the varied gifts that my peers and supervisor brought to group meetings. My challenge with the group has been to look for those areas where our traditions are similar, to seek out the deeper truths that affect us all, and to contemplate the “one true church of Jesus Christ” in light of denominational and theological differences. This is an area that I will continue to explore in my own faith journey and in my ministry.

C. you as minister/provider of pastoral care (patients, family, staff, etc.)

I have found that I am adaptive to an individual’s theology or lack thereof. I can usually carry on conversation and ministry without neglecting my own convictions. I have found that I must be open to many Christian “vocabularies” in order to speak to “regular people” about their faith. There are some of these “vocabularies” that I am not as comfortable with (like the question, “Did my dad accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior before he died?”)—but I am learning to be flexible in these situations. I am reminded that our theological vocabularies are often formed by the books we read and the traditions we embrace (or reject). I know that it is important to keep building these tools for ministry by engaging and interpreting (for myself) the theologies of others as well as those of my own tradition. My faith and theology become stronger as I am better able to articulate what I believe—and why I believe it. Being present for patients, family and staff has shown me that “you’ve got to work with what you’ve got”.

3. Reflecting on your own cultural background, give a specific example in each of the following areas of ways in which basic assumptions you hold were affected (e.g., enhanced, challenged, enlarged):

A. yourself in general (from the events of the summer)

Like I said earlier, I have felt very “white-bread” during some interactions this summer. I have felt that CPE has provided me the opportunity to minister to a more diverse population than I normally encounter at my home church. I have realized that I need to do more work on my Spanish language skills. I do well accepting people from other cultures, backgrounds, creeds, etc. I have noticed that I have a hard time connecting with individuals that have no faith tradition to draw on—and perhaps this is because I find this so foreign to my background. I have also been pleasantly surprised by my ability to minister to individuals who were from other religions, ethnic groups, or denominations—as long as there was some foundation to build on.

B. you in relation to colleagues (a peer or your peer group or supervisor)

Again, denominational differences have proven to be the major “cultural” hurdle within the group. It seems that we often have different ways to express basically the same thing. I have felt that we have been, at times, tied down by our traditions’ rhetoric and unable to form our theological convictions without depending heavily on the cultures that have nurtured us in the faith. (I recall an exchange about Christ’s relationship with/in/to the sacramental elements that I found humorous—since this debate continues to rage on after all these years. I am reminded that this argument depends on what one’s definition of “is” is.) I know that I have been bound by some of my denominations challenges and successes—in expressing what is important to me and what I take comfort in.

C. you as minister/provider of pastoral care (patients, family, staff, etc.)

There were several times this summer when I entered a room and felt an immediate connection with the patient, family or staff. However, many other times, I felt that I had to work very hard to create the connections that are so important in forming trust. I believe that this was a good experience for me—being a chaplain to a diverse population—because it made me focus on who I am on the inside instead of who I appear to be at first glance. I have a renewed interest in the cultural significance of body language, eye contact, tone of voice, names, and the power of touch.

4. Describe a concept that you learned from a seminar that you employed to provide pastoral care this summer and illustrate with a story.

I was very thankful for the seminar on the death and dying process. I had the opportunity to see the process play out first hand in the weeks following. This seminar prepared me for the situation and helped me to understand (in a bigger-picture sort of way) what was happening for the patient, the family and the hospital staff. I have written about this event in a verbatim—the crux being that the information about final stages of death helped me to identify the situation and to minister to the patient’s family appropriately.

5. What did you learn about yourself in terms of how you related to your peers? What did you learn about group behaviors from being a part of your peer group? (Give specific examples)

CPE has reminded me that I enjoy working with people side-by-side/shoulder-to shoulder, although I usually find myself in leadership positions. I have appreciated the team aspect of chaplaincy, especially during those times where I have been able to rely on others to continue pastoral care (such as families dealing with death over several days or the patient who “needs” constant pastoral attention). I felt the group was a good place to find support although it was also a place where the individual was constantly challenged to be vulnerable and find strength in that vulnerability. I appreciated the flexibility of the group—and its ability to be more or less rigid in remaining “on task” depending on the needs of the group or the well being of its members.

6. List one strength and one weakness you discovered or confirmed about yourself this summer and describe your plan for further growth with respect to each in the future.

Weakness: I need to work on self care practices—because I am very susceptible to the “try to do it all” mindset. I need boundaries to protect my ability to minister to others, and to avoid burnout. Time management plays into the weakness over and over again in my life and studies. I am a procrastinator and I like to be in charge of my own direction—both are potential hazards for me in a ministry setting. Also, I often over-commit my time and energies without thinking through the consequences. This has been an ongoing area for improvement in my life—and CPE has pointed it out to me again. I need to be intentional in what I say “yes” to, knowing that decisions about scheduling and energy level affect my family and other relationships.

Strength: I have learned that I can enter into any situation, any call, any dynamic—and remain grounded in who I am, and in what I believe. I have a strong faith—really more in who God is to us than what God can do for us. CPE has given me opportunities to practice my faith in difficult situations. It has given me confidence in who I am as a Christian—and it has shown me new perspectives on God’s grace in the midst of misfortune.

I have finished my last "On-Call"

2006-08-11T18:39:00.000-04:00

Super quick post: Baby fussy (tooth)+ chaplain internship almost over = little sleep. Genograms, Ords, and the what the bleep...oh my! I hope to have a real update next week.

A binary branching fractal

2006-07-27T23:00:00.000-04:00

Every step is both binary and triune at the same time. I imagine a God who also keeps track of all of our possibilities. The result would therefore be alternate realities... because a God imagined alternate journey would be as real...as long as it exists in the mind of God. (Sidebar: Does existance depend on an effort from God, and if so...could God "close God's eyes" and make us all dissapear and then "open" them to bring us back into existance at the same instant/circumstance that we dissapeared?)

The theory I am kicking around is that someone who dies, turns right...when the rest of us turn left...in their world, they may still be walking with us...growing closer to God...living into new realities and forgetting the old...which would mean there would be an infinate number of parallel universes......
"Thy kingdom come, thy will be done... on earth as it is in heaven."

I know how Angela Lansbury must feel...

2006-07-26T22:39:00.000-04:00

The past few days have been rough. I am tired of seeing dead people. Will all of y'all do me a favor and quit kicking the bucket! Really, I don't mind... I would enjoy it if more of you would miraculously recover...

...theology is a lot messier in the real world than it is in seminary...Calvin/reformed tradition is a discipline that may inform regular practice-- but is it viable for flesh and blood encounters? I tend to use "club" theology... I pick up the biggest chunk of grace I can find and beat the hell out of the situation with it. It isn't surgery-- it is primal bludgeoning. It gets the job done...although it may not really be all that pretty.

A Strange Loop

2006-07-21T17:05:00.000-04:00

Studying for the PCUSA ords... contemplating the self-referential language of the Trinity. Introspective Theology and paradox... "this statement is false"... "I believe that the existance of the classical "path" can be pregnantly formulated as follows: The "path" comes into existance where we observe it."

Emergency Baptism

2006-07-19T22:36:00.000-04:00

...there shouldn't be emergency baptisms...then again, there shouldn't be infants dying in their parents arms...sometimes you do the wrong thing for the right reasons...theology, in such circumstances, is like trying to fight a dragon with marshmallows...I remind you now of these words of comfort:

Hear the words of our Lord Jesus Christ: (Matt. 28:18-20)
All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.
And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

Hear also these words from Holy Scripture: (Eph. 4:4-6)
There is one body and one Spirit,
just as you were called
to the one hope of your calling,
one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
one God and Father of all,
who is above all and through all and in all.

Obeying the word of our Lord Jesus,
and confident of his promises,
we baptize those whom God has called.

In baptism God claims us,
and seals us to show that we belong to God.
God frees us from sin and death,
uniting us with Jesus Christ in his death and resurrection.
By water and the Holy Spirit,
we are made members of the church, the body of Christ,
and joined to Christ's ministry of love, peace, and justice.

Baptism is serious business...deadly serious. I thank God for this sacrament and the power it had to heal our spirits in the wee hours of Tuesday morning.

Mid unit lessons

2006-07-12T22:29:00.000-04:00

1. Myself as a pastor: I am learning that my theology, denominational background, and family history have a profound effect on my experience and practice of being a pastor. That being said, I have found that I also have the ability to adapt to the different situations and theologies that are present in the clinical environment. This ability to adapt to the situation was something that I had not really considered prior to the CPE experience—but has become an enjoyable aspect of the job. Likewise, I have been surprised that I am comfortable entering into a number of situations that I had expected to be sources of anxiety.

I have found that prayer and worship have been the most powerful tools in my daily life of a CPE Chaplain. Self care has been an important aspect of the experience as well. I feel that areas I still need to work on include: time management, relating more to healthcare staff, active listening and appropriate response, engagement with individuals that do not have a strong faith tradition, and finding a healthy balance between ardor and order.

2. Myself as a person: I have learned that, as a person, I sometimes shirk away from confrontation. I often try to mediate conversations and come up with an appropriate solution to problems—sometimes when this is not my assigned role. I like to see some sort of progress being made in any situation—and I feel that I sometimes prohibit the expression of feelings and concerns that are legitimate emotional responses from others by trying to problem solve. I like organization and become frustrated when there is a serious lack thereof—but I have also learned that there is no way to “organize” a large portion of the CPE learning experience; some things must be learned by heart. I have also been reminded that I appreciate direction and critique that is short and to the point.

3. Peer observations (and at the same time these are introspective observations into my own ministry--hence the "DS" throughout):

DS has a strong pastoral presence and is comfortable expressing his faith in theological language. He is a thoughtful and caring CPE chaplain who is approachable and dedicated. He could probably benefit by verbalizing his thoughts and feelings more often, to the group.

DS brings valuable experience and knowledge to the CPE experience. He is a good listener and provides good feedback to the CPE students. DS has a good sense of what is important in the summer CPE experience and what is important to pastoral ministry in general. He could benefit by becoming more knowledgeable about the Seton Healthcare Network.

People seem to naturally open up to DS. He is a nurturing and trustworthy CPE chaplain who makes time for his patients. DS is a good listener who has a strong pastoral presence and who seems to have a affinity to some aspects of Liberation Theology. He could probably benefit by finding ways to be more comfortable using theological language in the pastoral setting.

DS is personable and caring towards his peers and towards his patients. Already this summer, he has been a peaceful presence to several families during times of crisis. His outgoing personality and well formed theology have served him well in both ordinary patient visits and those he has performed while on call. He contributes to the group’s dynamics by addressing thoughts and ideas straightforwardly. DS is a level headed CPE chaplain who is both pastoral and approachable. DS could probably benefit by exploring some of the insights he gained into his role as a pastor among hospital staff and CPE peers—especially reflecting on the differences he experienced wearing a collar as opposed to street clothes. For the benefit of the group, he could also articulate more of his theological understandings during those times when he feels the theology of his faith tradition may differ significantly from that of other members of the group.

DS is a thoughtful and considerate CPE chaplain who has made conscious improvements to his active listening skills during the first half of this summer unit. He is quick to notice and identify major issues related to group dynamics and interpersonal relationships. He is easily approachable and appears comfortable in most settings (whether he is or not). He gets along well with both his peers and supervisors. DS has taken time out of each day to pray for his patients. He could probably benefit by utilizing his denomination’s prayer books, etc. For the benefit of the group, he could practice verbalizing his thoughts on the group’s dynamics in a fashion that prompts a greater depth of discussion.

DS is a warm and contemplative CPE chaplain who conveys a peaceful presence. He has strong communication skills and the ability to tell a good story. DS is an excellent listener and a deep thinker. He could probably benefit by getting in touch with his feelings—and by not always being so cerebral.

DS is a very capable and disciplined CPE chaplain who has a strong sense of sacramental theology. He expresses his feelings and thoughts openly and sincerely. His theological training shows forth in his pastoral practice as well as in his daily devotion. DS seems to have the ability to provide spiritual guidance to individuals from diverse backgrounds. He approaches the CPE chaplain experience with passion and energy that is refreshing and motivating. He could probably benefit by identifying “thinking out loud” as such, and by continuing to contemplate the “hard questions” that impact his ministry.

A Great Feeling

2006-07-06T22:44:00.000-04:00

...when a patient I have been visiting with for weeks is released from the hospital.
...when my daughter gets excited to see me when I arrive to pick her up from daycare.
...when the words come easy.
...when my wife looks at me and smiles.
...when everything falls into place...like Juan Diego's roses.

I am a white piece of paper

2006-07-02T21:50:00.000-04:00

Healing

2006-06-28T22:07:00.000-04:00

“Luminous beings are we...not this crude matter.”

“Real health, from a Christian point of view, is coming to the fullness of your vocation as a child of God. It means becoming Christ-like.”

How much does what we believe affect the world around us. If we believe we can feed the five thousand, will it surprise us if we really do? If we believe that we can change who we are- can we (with the help of God)? If we believe we can heal the sick, can we?

What does it mean to be healed? Am I made up of hardware running on some software- and nothing else or am I a flicker of light, reflecting some infinite and incorruptible truth? Am I a little of both? When I dream, am I any less real than when I am awake?

So the question becomes a matter of mechanics, a matter of metaphysics and a leap of faith- that what we really have is a relationship and not just a delusional thought projected onto a canvas that we can put our minds around, identify and box up like a complex logarithm Can prayer really heal a sick body (if we think it can) - surely yes. Can a prayer really heal a sick soul (think yes!) – surely yes. Can a prayer fill in the gaps that we are struggling with? - Because we are not in control, but it is God that has the final say.

When we are talking about broken loaves of bread- we are very much interested in the body. We want the nourishment the bread can give. We hunger for the one thing that can fill us. We look at the material, sometimes the symbolic – and sometimes the message. If we equate the hunger to pain- then what is the message here. “You give them something to eat.” If we are in pain- we should … If we are hungry we should eat- and we should give others something to eat. If we are in pain we should be comforted and we should try to comfort others. Is that the message? Does it matter how little we start out with? A nuclear explosion begins with the splitting of a single atom, which starts a chain reaction. Why did they need to see how much bread there was? Is the lesson that there are no bounds? A blessing has no bounds, miracles no formula. Wonder has no quencher- only misdirection...maybe just "new" direction.

“He divided among them all.” Not just to the smart ones, or the righteous ones, or to the pretty ones. He divided them among the ones that understood the question and the ones that didn’t. He believed.

Modern physics holds some new theories about how the universe is put together. One of the ideas that I find most interesting is that the expectations of the observer may have an affect on the outcome of any given experiment. If the scientist believes that the particle will be at location X- the particle has a greater chance of appearing at location X.

When we pray for healing- we are in communication with the creator. Who better to ask to fix something. I think that God always has the ability to just “fix it.” Sometimes God does and sometimes God doesn’t. There has to be other factors in play. What purpose would it serve to fix it and let us break it again? In a universe where we believe in life eternal- what is the fascination with life temporal? We starve for something that we can not have in the room we have walked into. We can smell the delicious dish in the next room- from time to time the door cracks open enough for us to get a glimpse of the banquet to come. Try as we might, we can not grasp the thing. We can go crazy trying to find a way into the other room or we can enjoy our bittersweet surrender. We can call others to enjoy in the wait. We can talk about it and ask to be let into the next room- but no good wine will be served before its time. We have to behave like grownups to be allowed at the grown-up table. We can not throw our bread on the floor and shake our sippy cup. We have to behave like the children of God to be treated like the children of God. We have to believe that God will take care of us, and live like it if we want to be something other than rotten children. We must not let the rot spread- but treat it as the disease we are trying to cure. When we pray for someone to be healed- we must pray for the person to be healed, not for the disease to be cured.

We have healers within our midst. We have those who can see the problem. We have believers- and we must allow their inner light to shine.

I wonder what will be. I want to believe recklessly. I want to pray for it all to be healed- and for me to be an instrument of healing.

A post is a post

2006-06-27T23:36:00.000-04:00

Don't really feel like writing anything. I'm tired but not sleepy. Being "present" to hospital patients takes more out of me than I thought it would. I really need to focus on pacing myself.

I don't know much about praying the rosary, but I intend to learn. In a population where a majority of church goers are Spanish speaking catholics, it may be good to know it in Espanol tambien.

Being a protestant- I may sub something for the "Hail Mary" in my own practice.

It was a busy night...and a busy end to the week

2006-06-23T22:04:00.000-04:00

Now all I want to do is rest. Tomorrow Leigh and I are celebrating our 6th anniversary!

ps. A word to the wise... whenever you are in an environment where half the people you will talk with are wearing hospital gowns- MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT!

ps. I am currently on call and hoping for a quiet night

2006-06-21T23:17:00.000-04:00

To work through peaceful means

2006-06-21T22:46:00.000-04:00

Two years ago, Leigh and I visited the US Holocaust Memorial Museum in DC. Pictured with me are Prebyterian Ministers, Brian and Michelle W. (Leigh took the picture.) The museum has a great exhibit on the continuing threat of antisemitism.

What brings this to mind...

From the PCUSA General Assembly...
Item: 11-01

Content: On Rescinding and Modifying Certain Actions of the 216th General Assembly (2004) Regarding the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

Creation Date: 3/16/2006 1:33:59 PM

AssemblyYear: 2006

Type: For Plenary Action

Committee: Peacemaking and International Issues (11)

Concurrences: 5

Comments: 4

Item URL: http://les-pcusa.org/Item.aspx?IID=90&

Assembly Action

Assembly Action The Assembly rejected two attempts to amend the recommendation and then adopted the Committee’s recommendation to answer this item with the following alternate resolution and with comment (by a vote of 483/28/1).

Committee Recommendation

On Item 11-01, the Peacemaking and International Issues Committee voted as follows: Motion was carried by a Counted vote.
- Affirmative:53
- Negative:6
- Abstention:3

The committee hereby recommends in response to this recommendation, that the 217th General Assembly (2006) approve the following alternate reslution and comment:

Comment

After careful consideration of the overtures brought before the Assembly Committee on Peacemaking and International Issues of the 217th General Assembly (2006), we offer the following recommendations.

1. We acknowledge that the actions of the 216th General Assembly (2004) caused hurt and misunderstanding among many members of the Jewish community and within our Presbyterian communion. We are grieved by the pain that this has caused, accept responsibility for the flaws in our process, and ask for a new season of mutual understanding and dialogue.

To these ends, we replace the instructions expressed in Item 12-01 (Minutes, 2004 Part I, pp. 64–66) Recommendation 7, which reads

“7. Refers to Mission Responsibility Through Investment Committee (MRTI) with instructions to initiate a process of phased selective divestment in multinational corporations operating in Israel, in accordance to General Assembly policy on social investing, and to make appropriate recommendations to the General Assembly Council for action.”

with the following:

“7. To urge that financial investments of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), as they pertain to Israel, Gaza, East Jerusalem, and the West Bank, be invested in only peaceful pursuits, and affirm that the customary corporate engagement process of the Committee on Mission Responsibility Through Investments of our denomination is the proper vehicle for achieving this goal.”

2. Direct Mission Responsibility Through Investment (MRTI) to ensure that its strategies for engaging corporations with regard to Israeli and Palestinian territories

a. Reflect the application of fundamental principles of justice and peace common to Christianity, Islam, and Judaism that are appropriate to the practical realities of Israeli and Palestinian societies.

b. Reflect commitment to positive outcomes.

c. Reflect awareness of potential impact upon the stability, future viability, and prosperity of both the Israeli and Palestinian economies.

d. Identify affirmative investment opportunities as they pertain to Israel, Gaza, East Jerusalem, and the West Bank.

3. We call upon the church:

a. To work through peaceful means with American and Israeli Jewish, American and Palestinian Muslim, and Palestinian Christian communities and their affiliated organizations for an end to all violence and terror against Palestinian and Israeli civilians.

b. To work through peaceful means with American and Israeli Jewish, American and Palestinian Muslim, and Palestinian Christian communities and their affiliated organizations to end the occupation.

c. To work through peaceful means with American and Israeli Jewish, American and Palestinian Muslim, and Palestinian Christian communities and their affiliated organizations towards the creation of a socially, economically, geographically, and politically viable and secure Palestinian state, alongside an equally viable and secure Israeli state, both of which have a right to exist.

d. To encourage and celebrate efforts by individual Presbyterians, congregations, and judicatories of our church to communicate directly and regularly with Jewish, Christian, and Muslim communities, sponsor programs likely to improve relations among Christians, Jews, and Muslims, and engage in peacemaking in the Middle East.

4. The 217th General Assembly (2006) does not believe that the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) should tell a sovereign nation whether it can protect its borders or handle matters of national defense. The problem with the security wall, in 2004 and presently, is its location. The 217th General Assembly (2006) supports fair criticism of the security wall insofar as it illegally encroaches into the Palestinian territory and fails to follow the legally recognized borders of Israel since 1967 demarcated by the Green Line. To the extent that the security barrier violates Palestinian land that was not part of Israel prior to the 1967 war, the barrier should be dismantled and relocated.

5. Recognizing that the situation on the ground in the Israel-Palestine area is rapidly changing, the General Assembly Council (GAC) is directed to carefully monitor ongoing developments of the situation in the Middle East and to examine the polices of the PC(USA) related to the Middle East, in order to make a comprehensive report to the 218th General Assembly (2008).

6. Instructs the Stated Clerk to communicate Recommendations 1. through 5. above to the United States’ president, vice president, secretary of state, and members of Congress; to Israeli and Palestinian leaders in the Middle East; to the membership of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.); to leadership of Christian, Jewish, and Muslim faith bodies and denominations in the United States and the Middle East with whom we are in communication.

Comment: The Assembly received twenty-six overtures pertaining to the Middle East. The recommendation is the result of the General Assembly’s honest and sincere effort to address the issues and concerns that appeared in the overtures in a comprehensive and concise document.

Life, death, laughter, tears, hope, fear...computers?

2006-06-20T21:36:00.000-04:00

The past week has been a real rollercoaster ride of emotion and experience. The most frustrating part, by far, has been the computer training that the summer interns are undergoing. There will be more tomorrow; I can hardly wait:( Tomorrow I will also be on call-- so my workday will stretch from 8:00 Wednesday to 8:00 Thursday. I am praying for the strength and energy to be an effective pastoral presence (if I am called in.)

I may have said it before, but here it is again... There are so many family dynamics at work in any situation I may walk into. There is no way to "prepare" but rooms must be walked into with the faith that you are prepared.

The funny thing is that the simple presence of a "chaplain" changes the feel of a room, hallway, or nurse's station. "Chaplain" seems to be a magic word. I find it amazing how many times I have heard the following: "Thank God, the chaplain is here." "We need to call the chaplain." "The chaplain is here for the family..."

I just got a page...I am not on call but my thoughts are with my fellow intern as he answers this call. A prayer for chaplains on call...

Holy, Holy, Holy,
Lord God almighty
be with your servant
and lend your spirit
to touch the hearts of those in trouble.
For being in your presence
heals all.
Holy, Holy, Holy,
Lord God almighty
Father, Son and Spirit
Please, please, please...
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I had a great day

2006-06-18T23:55:00.000-04:00

Today I was pampered with breakfast migas from Trudy's, Smartwool Socks, a new tie, church with the family, a new pair of Chacos, too much barbeque at the County Line, a new T-shirt (pictured), a monkey finger puppet from Toy Joy, and a 3 hour nap. The best part was definately hanging out with the family.

A Zen Story

2006-06-16T23:11:00.000-04:00

One day while walking through the jungle a man stumbled upon a vicious tiger. He ran but soon came to the edge of a high cliff. Desperate to save himself, he climbed down a vine and dangled over the fatal precipice. As he hung there, two mice appeared from a hole in the cliff and began gnawing on the vine. Suddenly, he noticed on the vine a plump wild strawberry. He plucked it and popped it in his mouth. How sweet it was!

History by committee, doctrine by interpretation

2006-06-16T22:21:00.000-04:00

Πιστεύομεν εἰς ἕνα Θεόν, Πατέρα, Παντοκράτορα, ποιητὴν οὐρανοῦ καὶ γῆς, ὁρατῶν τε πάντων καὶ ἀοράτων.

Καὶ εἰς ἕνα Κύριον Ἰησοῦν Χριστόν, τὸν Υἱὸν τοῦ Θεοῦ τὸν μονογενῆ, τὸν ἐκ τοῦ Πατρὸς γεννηθέντα πρὸ πάντων τῶν αἰώνων·
φῶς ἐκ φωτός, Θεὸν ἀληθινὸν ἐκ Θεοῦ ἀληθινοῦ, γεννηθέντα οὐ ποιηθέντα, ὁμοούσιον τῷ Πατρί, δι' οὗ τὰ πάντα ἐγένετο.
Τoν δι' ἡμᾶς τοὺς ἀνθρώπους καὶ διὰ τὴν ἡμετέραν σωτηρίαν κατελθόντα ἐκ τῶν οὐρανῶν καὶ σαρκωθέντα
ἐκ Πνεύματος Ἁγίου καὶ Μαρίας τῆς Παρθένου καὶ ἐνανθρωπήσαντα.
Σταυρωθέντα τε ὑπὲρ ἡμῶν ἐπὶ Ποντίου Πιλάτου, καὶ παθόντα καὶ ταφέντα.
Καὶ ἀναστάντα τῇ τρίτῃ ἡμέρα κατὰ τὰς Γραφάς.
Καὶ ἀνελθόντα εἰς τοὺς οὐρανοὺς καὶ καθεζόμενον ἐκ δεξιῶν τοῦ Πατρός.
Καὶ πάλιν ἐρχόμενον μετὰ δόξης κρῖναι ζῶντας καὶ νεκρούς, οὗ τῆς βασιλείας οὐκ ἔσται τέλος.

Καὶ εἰς τὸ Πνεῦμα τὸ Ἅγιον, τὸ κύριον, τὸ ζωοποιόν,
τὸ ἐκ τοῦ Πατρὸς ἐκπορευόμενον,
τὸ σὺν Πατρὶ καὶ Υἱῷ συμπροσκυνούμενον καὶ συνδοξαζόμενον,
τὸ λαλῆσαν διὰ τῶν προφητῶν.
Εἰς μίαν, Ἁγίαν, Καθολικὴν καὶ Ἀποστολικὴν Ἐκκλησίαν.
Ὁμολογῶ ἓν βάπτισμα εἰς ἄφεσιν ἁμαρτιῶν.
Προσδοκῶ ἀνάστασιν νεκρῶν.
Καὶ ζωὴν τοῦ μέλλοντος αἰῶνος.
Ἀμήν.

I survived my first night on call

2006-06-16T12:34:00.000-04:00

I did not, however, get much sleep. I took five calls throughout the night. I am called in when there is a code blue or a major catastrophy. No major catastrophys last night. Now I am going back in for a couple of hours. Four o'clock can not come soon enough.

Lucid Dreams

2006-06-14T22:06:00.000-04:00

If God is just dreaming all of this stuff (creation, existence, the cosmos, you, me, etc.), does it make it any less real? Have you ever had a dream within a dream? What's up with that? How many levels of reality can there be?

Last night I had one of those "preaching nightmare" dreams where I was supposed to preach on a specific text-- only I had no notes, clue of what was normal practice at this very unusual church, nor did I have the ability to focus on the task at hand. All I had was the citation of scripture to be used: Matthew 4:5 and following. Upon waking, I looked it up...

Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple,
saying to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written, 'He will command his angels concerning you,' and 'On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.'"
Jesus said to him, "Again it is written, 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"
Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor;
and he said to him, "All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me."
Jesus said to him, "Away with you, Satan! for it is written, 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.'"
Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.

...very sober start to this morning. Just what I needed before doing the chaplain thing on my own-- there are so many opportunities to run, to be there but not really be present. The challenge is to remain true to who you are-- to not sell out.

Gregarious

2006-06-13T20:14:00.000-04:00

Today the chaplain interns and the chaplain residents went on a "retreat" to the house on the hill. We ate well. There was a great view. I don't feel like something is really a retreat unless at least half the time is unstructured. That being said, it was really just more work.

On the way out there, I passed this flock of pink flamingos that were standing perfectly still on the side of the road. They reminded me of the many ways we define an organism--a flock being a multi-bodied organism, much like a church. It is both a single body and a multi-body entity.

That is kind of how chaplain services seem to work in the Seton Family of Hospitals. Get a bunch of chaplains into a room and it is hard to know how the spirit will move you-- this can be both good and bad.

Mountains come in many disguises

2006-06-12T23:45:00.000-04:00

When I was fourteen I spent two weeks in the backcountry of northern New Mexico hiking over rocky paths, carrying an overstuffed pack with my portion of the crew’s food and supplies. I had seen mountains before but I had never “lived” with mountains before. They quickly became our silent companions. In the evenings, we would seek the valleys between these sleeping giants to make our camp. Warmly bundled in our cocoons we would sleep the solid and refreshing sleep that is the reward for a day’s hard labor. In the morning, we would awake eager to experience what the day would bring. The pinnacle of that experience for me was always about spending time at the summit. The goal was clear—when we could go no higher, we could not only look back over the paths we had traversed but also look forward to the path ahead.

The mountain top is a unique experience. All of the worldly things we carry with us through life seem to loose their value in the upper elevations. Books, credit cards, cell phones, internet connections—these all seem utterly ridiculous at the zenith. I do recall, however, thinking seriously about how I had been behaving toward my crew, especially as I peered over a precipice. There is certainly a sense of vulnerability there on the mountain, an exposure no tent can dismiss. There in the open, we are vulnerable, but it is more to the things from above than from the things from below.

In Luke we read about the transfiguration of Jesus, taking place on a mountain top. Peter, John and James accompany Jesus in this journey intended to be a type of prayer retreat. There, next to the rocky brink, Moses and Elijah suddenly appear. They just kind of drop in to talk to Jesus! The official “Law” and “Prophet” figures meet with Jesus to discuss the way ahead. Peter offers to set up three shelters but doesn’t realize the hierarchical problems this may create. The clouds roll in. A voice booms “This is my Son, my chosen; listen to him.” God has made the way clear—Jesus is the only one left to follow off the mountain. He appears to have changed, but hopefully, so have we.

Lord, we pray for your guidance,

we pray for your presence,

and we pray for your peace. Amen.

Monday Monday, Can't help that day...

2006-06-11T22:04:00.000-04:00

I feel like I need another weekend before going back to the hospital tomorrow. I am very anxious. Tomorrow morning (Monday) I will actually be visiting patients-- and who knows what else. The afternoon is supposed to be new employee training, but the morning is going to be some of the real stuff. I will be meeting with my mentor (Jim) and learning as much as I can about my floor. Reading through my CPE Intern Handbook, this weekend, I found a section that basically said that there is no way that an intern can be trained for all of the different scenarios that are possible in the hospital-- instead, we just have to walk into the room and rely on what we know/ believe/ trust we can handle.

About 180 people die at Seton Medical Center every year. I have already received pages for "code blue" situations-- but I was not on duty. I have learned as much as I can (mainly the hospital layout) and now it is time to enter rooms, vulnerably, non-anxiously, and to listen to patients' stories. We are also there for nurses and doctors. My gut is in a knot... just thinking about it makes me start to sweat a little... metallic taste in mouth.

A prayer for Monday...

God, please don't let me throw up - at least not in front of my peers. Help me to know what to say-- and when I screw things up, help me to remove my foot from my mouth.
I ask you to walk with me down strange hallways, into darkened rooms and corridors, before your people who are hurt and sick, beside those you have called to be healers. I ask you to accompany me because I need the help--and because you have promised to be there. I will hold you to that promise. even though i am not worthy of this grace, nor pious, nor prepared-- even though i have failed to keep your commandments and squandered your gifts, I believe in your presence and love-- that will be the light showing safe passage. Gracious God, help me to listen to your words, and to your people's heartache-- help me to bring your peace. Strengthen my resolve. Pour your spirit into me. Fill me with vision and learning. Teach me your wisdom. You have overcome death-- help me not to fear it. You have extended your love to all of creation, help me to celebrate in it. Build your story within me-- mold me into something new. It is only in and through your presence in the world that I can ask such things-- in and through Jesus Christ, the shepherd that calls us to feed his sheep, to service, to love.

My feet hurt

2006-06-10T09:51:00.000-04:00

6 hospitals in 3 days...
I have been assigned the Cardiology Unit at Seton Medical center, but I will be "on call" at all of the hospitals within the system (one day a week). CPE is definately intensive, both physically and emotionally. I am glad it is the weekend.

CPE, Day 2

2006-06-07T23:07:00.000-04:00

Today we toured Seton Medical center after 4 hours of morning workshops on record keeping, death protocols, and basic entry and exit stratagies. Seton Medical Center will be where I will spend the majority of my time. This is also the hospital where I had surgery a year ago, and where we welcomed our daughter into the world six months ago. I think that I will enjoy being there. Today I visited with seminary friends that were in the process of welcoming their son into the world.

Tomorrow we are touring Brackenridge hospital (the hospital where my brother died 7 years ago). Tonight, my dad and I went up there to walk the halls before I have to show up for "work". It has changed a lot in the past 7 years--I hardly reognized the place.

On a completely different note, we are suffering a different kind of loss tonight. Someone had a pen explode in the community dryer--totally undetectable to subsequent users. I guess I was the next person to use it--and now a whole load of laundry is ruined.

I don't like doing laundry in the first place... but to do it, and have it come out dirtier than it went in is just plain evil.

Can "speckeled" clothes be the new "acid-washed"?-- it would really help us out.

What is really sad is that these were the best of our wash & wear wardrobe--I guess this weekend we will be going on shopping spree!

Happy Birthday Leigh and .5 BD PP

2006-06-06T19:06:00.000-04:00

Happy 29 years Leigh. I am so glad to have shared the past 8 with you. Love, nmw!

Happy half birthday Pink princess. We love you.

CPE, day 1

2006-06-06T18:57:00.000-04:00

Today we were issued 10 lbs. binders (student handbooks) with enough bedtime reading for the whole summer. We toured 3 (of the 5) hospital locations that we will serve when we are "on call", were issued pagers, laptop computers (some of the hospitals in the system are going "paperless" so we need to learn the new system), and keys to elevators, floors, chapels and classrooms. I am tired. More tomorrow.